Home Base

What Does Love Say?

This is true – even if we are talking to ourselves.

Meeting ourselves where we are.

Two years ago I wrote in my journal:

I wish I was more grateful
I wish I felt more secure
I wish I was more loving
I wish I was less worried

I still wish for most of those things. Truth be told, the last few years have kicked my trash. I am extremely grateful for many things, on the daily…….My God KNOWS.

But it seems to never even out. If it’s not one thing it’s another. I find myself telling my same old story. It’s like groundhog day. If it’s not one child, it’s another. The places and spaces that appear as challenges in my life, seem too unsolvable, especially in the beginning. They stare at me in the face, like a bully on the playground. I seem incapable of what that GUY in the sky thought I could do.

My purpose? Do we ever find it? If it’s to enjoy each day for what it brings, as a wise elderly housekeeper told me years ago; then I’m gonna have to change my story real fast. I’m 54. I find joy in many places but I am not still not sure of my value. Joy seems selfish.

I know life is short. Problems are temporary. They change like a silent old black and white movie. Sometimes I feel like that is my life. It flashes before me without much (valued) effort from me. What effect do I really have on scenes that will play out anyway? Is everyone prone to these lonely thoughts? If you look at their problems, it would seem that way. Everyone just wants to feel relevant. Is relevance real? Is it genuine? Do I need recognition to feel real?

Yes, I know I shouldn’t.

I’m actually the Queen of NOT wanting attention. Don’t give me an award and ask me to speak. God No. I can think of no worse torture.

But, at times, I want to know I made a difference I guess. Don’t we all. Those who are in front of me want that to.

The never ending circle of life- of LOVE.

Anger says: “I’m so mad that I can’t get my way and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Sadness says: “It’s so unfair that I can’t get my way.”

Fear says: “I can’t imagine not getting my way.”

Denial says: “My way would be so much better.”

Boredom says: “My way is anything but this.”

Emptiness says: “It seems as if my way is always opposite or different than how things are.”

Acceptance says: “The Universe is always orchestrating life in my highest favor, whether it seems to be going my way or not.”

Peace says: “When my way is put aside, the way is shown.”

Compassion says: “I understand how you feel. I didn’t get my way either.

Joy says: “Everything is always going my way, no matter the details, outcomes, or circumstances.”

Love says: “I embrace the one who needs life to be one way or another and I cherish the one who has no particular way to be as the eternal innocence of all.”

Oneness says: “Even the notions of getting my way or having no way to be are equally unique ways of the Universe playing in form.”

Transcendence says: “All paths lead to the same way.”

Truth says: “I AM the way, the way I AM.”

Matt Kahn
What would love do? 
Sit with it.
Sit with you.
Sit with me.
Home Base

Be That Person

Reposted with permission from Mattkahn.org

image

Be that person who demands a more kind, peaceful, and compassionate world that doesn’t leave evolution any other option when leading by the power of your own living example.

Be that person who reaches in for nourished support, while reaching out to those who have forgotten their hearts as the source of eternal sustenance.

Be that person who fearlessly meets conflict with curiosity, daring to ask more questions, instead of making assumptions about the paths only other people’s feet have walked.

Be that person who transcends the ugliest of circumstances by showing there is no single moment absent of the beauty of our true enlightened form.

Be that person who builds a living relationship with the nature of divinity, no matter how often the seasons of change move through your field.

Be that person who holds no expectation over another person’s head, while maintaining an uncanny degree of ethical worthiness for how you will and won’t allow yourself to be treated.

Be that person who meets the venom of negativity as the defense mechanism of a snake afraid to part with known realities by shedding another layer of skin. When seeing the operating system fear hides in, a bite of venom becomes cleansing medicine instead of poison within the wisdom of a shamanic heart.

Be that person who turns turbulence into transition and sadness into a celebration. Much like a song initially only your heart can sing or hear, written by the lyrics of each tragedy survived, that brings other radiant souls towards you to share in the mutual glory of a mission fulfilled.

Be that person who measures achievement by the deeper qualities each moment cultivates in you, whether demonstrated with immaculate precision or still being brought to the surface by the moments in view.

Be that person who remains an ally to the innocence in every heart with the intuitive discernment to know how to hold space for the healing of others without being a place for anyone’s unprocessed pain to hide.

Be that person who cannot be manipulated into taking sides in a battle only molded by the hands of greed. For whenever sides are taken, the ‘I versus you’ or ‘us against them’ ensures no one will be that person who brings greed to justice — a justice only served when each of us dare to be that person — together as one.

Be that person who leaves this planet with the most breathtaking garden of insight to discover, grown from the seeds you so intentionally planted by insisting there is more to life than a rhythm of loss and gain.

Be that person, who becomes the person, no longer hiding within you, but brought to the surface for the unending joyful benefit of a world still afraid or unaware of that person deep within themselves.

Hear the peaceful rumble like the drumming of sacred ceremony echoing throughout all directions and corners of Mother Earth. It is an interconnection of light beings mindfully assembling for the salvation of our planet. It is a movement of progress only set into greater motion when that person dares to step forward. As each of us answer this call to be that person, it is only then when we the people can be heard, acknowledged, and respected by the reciprocity of collective progress. Welcome to the Love Revolution.

#BeThatPerson

All For Love,

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Home Base

Confessions of A Spiritual Perfectionist

-Matt Kahn

In every moment, you and everyone else is always doing the best they possibly can. If anyone could do better — they would. When anyone can do better — they will. While spiritual teachings can give greater focus and attention to heart-centered choices, they are not to be confused with rules used to punish yourself with. Instead of ridiculing yourself with unrealistic ideas of perfectionism, most moments of healing call for a deep level of self-forgiveness where you are able to truly forgive yourself for any misjudgments in perception and reaction by truly accepting yourself — talents, flaws, and all. No one is designed to do this perfectly and it’s for such an important reason. It is to guarantee that in en route to realizing how conscious, liberated, and heart-centered you already are, life creates moments to intentionally burst any bubble of perfectionism the spiritual ego tends to hide in. As the spiritual ego gets down on itself for not “nailing it”, you are able to embrace such a part within you, allowing your love to further set free the aspect of self who only knows how to be rewarded with praise, honor, and accolade in exchange for doing something “right”. Let your journey be insightful, illuminating, clarifying, and sometimes, as messy as its meant to be. No matter the roads traveled and the choices made, everything is made right in the end.

Confessions of a Spiritual Perfectionist

by Matt Kahn

My friends and I have a running joke. We like to say, “I am not a perfectionist, but I’m working on it.” This light-hearted one-liner is a bird’s eye view into the infrastructure of intensity I lived in during the early developmental years of my spiritual journey. To the best of my ability, I forged into inner explorer mode, eager to glean each insight and accomplish each milestone to the point where I was so worried about getting it wrong that I wasn’t able to enjoy the perfection of my evolution. Perhaps this rings true for you as well.

While all of us living on planet Earth are empaths of varying degrees of awareness, embodiment, and integration, the majority of empaths who are aware of their energetic sensitivities are also recovering spiritual perfectionists. Because an energetically sensitive being has an inferior ego, or conditioning fed by low self-esteem, it is nearly instinctive to engage the endless potential of the Universe with an ongoing fear of making a mistake, doing something wrong, worrying about missing a window of opportunity or being left behind the highest curve of expansion.

I site these examples as experiences I have had and survived, only to discover a Universe operating by such a level of perfection and grace it is categorically impossible to ever step outside of the spotlight of your unfolding destiny. Often times, when the ego hears of such a perfection, it feels defeated by the will of the Universe, as if it’s competing with the Cosmos for your undivided attention. All too often, the ego only feels useful if it believes it controls everything. When it discovers a depth of alignment beyond the grip and grit of personal control, it mopes in a state of uselessness as if it plays no purpose in life’s incredible journey.

Since everything is a unique and equal expression of one eternal truth, the ego plays a pivotal role in your evolution, albeit not the role it imagines or wishes to portray.

As you awaken, your ego’s job is to unravel in order to create space for the soul to emerge. It’s as if the ego has parked its car in the numbered space of your energy field, unaware that it is momentarily parked in that spot, until the soul is ready to move its vessel into position. While the ego might adopt a belief in being the caretaker of the parking spot, even working tirelessly to keep it clean and clear of debris, it is maintaining the integrity of a parking space so the soul has a place to be parked. Upon finding out this surprising twist of fate, the ego can often become territorial with the parking space of your energy field, even perceiving the soul as an invasion to fend off. It’s not that ego refuses to let go, as much as ego delays letting go until it feels as if it has gotten everything perfect. In reality, no matter how perfectly the ego does its dance, it always imagines an even higher level of perfection to attain, which perpetuates the tendency of holding on to its belief in control. Using this analogy, the ego asks the soul to be patient as it feverishly cleans the parking space for its arrival, always finding some pebble to move around as it works to get everything just right.

“…the ego asks the soul to be patient as it feverishly cleans the parking space for its arrival, always finding some pebble to move around as it works to get everything just right.”

Even if the ego were to imagine getting everything perfect, its role now shifts into the same amount of effort to maintain the perfection it worked so hard to cultivate. Because it will never be free of the nonstop effort of chasing or maintaining perfection until it lets go, the more often the repetitive tendencies of ego are openly met with relaxed loving attention, the easier a transition can occur where the ego exits the parking lot to allow the soul to move into place.

In order to assist in your transition out of the perfectionistic patterns of ego and into the glory of your soul’s true essence, here a few helpful tips to aid in the process:

1. You are always doing everything correctly, even when you think you’re getting it wrong.

While the ego believes achievement occurs as a result of doing things correctly, the soul understands that both right and wrong are merely ways of interpreting the nature of outcomes. The soul knows that every experience is correct since it brings you into communion with the exact emotions needing to be felt in order to resolve the past and inspire the awareness of greater insights. It’s never a matter of seeing something wrong or right, but how much time you are meant to spend percolating in various emotional states in order to access the gift of expansion.

While the ego believes doing things in a more correct order will help it gain access to more positive feelings in a shorter amount of time, the soul abides in the awareness of truth — knowing you are meant to feel, think, believe, and choose exactly as you will to build up the momentum created in states of repression and discomfort in order to catapult into the opposite spectrum of higher energetic and emotional states. If you ping-pong back down, it is only to discover greater wounds to be healed, which builds up pressure to accelerate you into even higher moments of expansion than before. This means, if you take the time to be at peace with exactly the way things are and have played out, life will guide you exactly where you wish to be, as long as you allow the Universe to work on its preferred timeline of events.

“…if you take the time to be at peace with exactly the way things are and have played out, life will guide you exactly where you wish to be…”

2. You may not get what you want, but you will always feel the way you desire.

This might blow a giant cannonball through the old understanding of the law of attraction, but it’s worth deconstructing in order to give you fresh perspective and space to breathe. Imagine something that you want to attract into your reality. Notice that it is an object that has been associated with a belief that bringing this into your reality will also bring with it all the positive emotional states you wish to feel more often. Because an energetic healing period is the time you are meant to spend in lower states as a way of building momentum and skyrocketing into higher states, there is no inherent connection between what you want and how you hope to feel. It is merely a limiting spiritual belief fed by an assumption that you will feel differently once your personal circumstances appear differently. In truth, you are destined to feel much better, most likely before the logistics of your circumstances may be ready to shift. It’s not as if the Universe doesn’t wish to give you what you want, but it works in accordance with delivering to you exactly what you need, in order to become who you were born to be.

Ultimately, the process of envisioning different circumstances is only meant to get you in touch with how you wish to feel. Once established, the Universe brings to you all the encounters and moments of healing to help you inevitably feel as you’ve envisioned. When aligned with the soul, you are able to imagine better circumstances as a foreshadowing of intuitive knowing when not needing different experiences to permit different feelings. When incubating in the ego, you only imagine feeling better once your life circumstances change to your ego’s exact specifications. When you are able to honor what you want, while accepting that it may not be the very thing you need in order to feel how much better you’re already destined to feel as more of your healing journey is completed, an alignment with a greater depth of maturity helps unravel beliefs of superstition within the ego’s grip.

3. The Universe isn’t fragile.

How often do you tip-toe around in your reality, hoping not to disturb the sacred ground of existence with limiting ideas, over thinking, or the triggering of negative emotions? While there is much benefit to being tactful with your words, actions, and responses, you are living out the necessary highs and lows of your evolution in a very durable reality. A reality that is dressed up as a planet that has survived ice ages, volcanic explosions, and even held space for the arrival of meteor showers can surely endure the impact of your most limiting thoughts.

Especially if needing to be deprogrammed from old paradigm beliefs in the law of attraction, you are likely to think that any degree of imperfection will cause the Universe to frown upon your behavior and delay the arrival of your deepest desires. When trying to “get everything right” as a way of seducing the Universe to give you more of the things you want, it is a moment of inauthenticity conveyed through expressions of spiritual materialism that obstructs the vantage point of your clearest view.

“When you understand that you…do not live in a fragile Universe, you are well on your way to recovering from the pitfalls of spiritual perfectionism.”

The Universe is not fragile and remains as indestructible as the destiny that unfolds throughout each passing breath. You may need to make fear-based choices in order to build up courage and resonate with more inspired options, or spend time in tumultuous circumstances until you are ready to step into the unknown; but isn’t that what the play of life is about? Life is a living journey of expansion, where you are becoming aware of all that you know and remembering all that you are — one incremental choice at a time.

Your life is a work of art in progress. As most artists will tell you, it’s impossible to bring the magic of art to life without initially making a mess.

When you understand that you cannot make a mistake, do not require life to bring you different circumstances in order to feel better about yourself, and do not live in a fragile Universe, you are well on your way to grounding your empathic energy and recovering from the pitfalls of spiritual perfectionism.

Once each day isn’t a series of fear-based rituals or constantly checking things off your endless spiritual to-do list, you are able to meet the mystery of your existence as openly and authentically as it always meets you. From this space, you are able to see the importance of each momentary milestone and explore the infinite spectrum of personal experience without anything to manage, remember, control, or keep straight. This is where the immaculate potential of a spiritual journey truly begins.

Photo -Samantha Waters
:)
Home Base

Confessions of A Spiritual Perfectionist

-Matt Kahn

In every moment, you and everyone else is always doing the best they possibly can. If anyone could do better — they would. When anyone can do better — they will. While spiritual teachings can give greater focus and attention to heart-centered choices, they are not to be confused with rules used to punish yourself with. Instead of ridiculing yourself with unrealistic ideas of perfectionism, most moments of healing call for a deep level of self-forgiveness where you are able to truly forgive yourself for any misjudgments in perception and reaction by truly accepting yourself — talents, flaws, and all. No one is designed to do this perfectly and it’s for such an important reason. It is to guarantee that in en route to realizing how conscious, liberated, and heart-centered you already are, life creates moments to intentionally burst any bubble of perfectionism the spiritual ego tends to hide in. As the spiritual ego gets down on itself for not “nailing it”, you are able to embrace such a part within you, allowing your love to further set free the aspect of self who only knows how to be rewarded with praise, honor, and accolade in exchange for doing something “right”. Let your journey be insightful, illuminating, clarifying, and sometimes, as messy as its meant to be. No matter the roads traveled and the choices made, everything is made right in the end.

Confessions of a Spiritual Perfectionist

by Matt Kahn

My friends and I have a running joke. We like to say, “I am not a perfectionist, but I’m working on it.” This light-hearted one-liner is a bird’s eye view into the infrastructure of intensity I lived in during the early developmental years of my spiritual journey. To the best of my ability, I forged into inner explorer mode, eager to glean each insight and accomplish each milestone to the point where I was so worried about getting it wrong that I wasn’t able to enjoy the perfection of my evolution. Perhaps this rings true for you as well.

While all of us living on planet Earth are empaths of varying degrees of awareness, embodiment, and integration, the majority of empaths who are aware of their energetic sensitivities are also recovering spiritual perfectionists. Because an energetically sensitive being has an inferior ego, or conditioning fed by low self-esteem, it is nearly instinctive to engage the endless potential of the Universe with an ongoing fear of making a mistake, doing something wrong, worrying about missing a window of opportunity or being left behind the highest curve of expansion.

I site these examples as experiences I have had and survived, only to discover a Universe operating by such a level of perfection and grace it is categorically impossible to ever step outside of the spotlight of your unfolding destiny. Often times, when the ego hears of such a perfection, it feels defeated by the will of the Universe, as if it’s competing with the Cosmos for your undivided attention. All too often, the ego only feels useful if it believes it controls everything. When it discovers a depth of alignment beyond the grip and grit of personal control, it mopes in a state of uselessness as if it plays no purpose in life’s incredible journey.

Since everything is a unique and equal expression of one eternal truth, the ego plays a pivotal role in your evolution, albeit not the role it imagines or wishes to portray.

As you awaken, your ego’s job is to unravel in order to create space for the soul to emerge. It’s as if the ego has parked its car in the numbered space of your energy field, unaware that it is momentarily parked in that spot, until the soul is ready to move its vessel into position. While the ego might adopt a belief in being the caretaker of the parking spot, even working tirelessly to keep it clean and clear of debris, it is maintaining the integrity of a parking space so the soul has a place to be parked. Upon finding out this surprising twist of fate, the ego can often become territorial with the parking space of your energy field, even perceiving the soul as an invasion to fend off. It’s not that ego refuses to let go, as much as ego delays letting go until it feels as if it has gotten everything perfect. In reality, no matter how perfectly the ego does its dance, it always imagines an even higher level of perfection to attain, which perpetuates the tendency of holding on to its belief in control. Using this analogy, the ego asks the soul to be patient as it feverishly cleans the parking space for its arrival, always finding some pebble to move around as it works to get everything just right.

“…the ego asks the soul to be patient as it feverishly cleans the parking space for its arrival, always finding some pebble to move around as it works to get everything just right.”

Even if the ego were to imagine getting everything perfect, its role now shifts into the same amount of effort to maintain the perfection it worked so hard to cultivate. Because it will never be free of the nonstop effort of chasing or maintaining perfection until it lets go, the more often the repetitive tendencies of ego are openly met with relaxed loving attention, the easier a transition can occur where the ego exits the parking lot to allow the soul to move into place.

In order to assist in your transition out of the perfectionistic patterns of ego and into the glory of your soul’s true essence, here a few helpful tips to aid in the process:

1. You are always doing everything correctly, even when you think you’re getting it wrong.

While the ego believes achievement occurs as a result of doing things correctly, the soul understands that both right and wrong are merely ways of interpreting the nature of outcomes. The soul knows that every experience is correct since it brings you into communion with the exact emotions needing to be felt in order to resolve the past and inspire the awareness of greater insights. It’s never a matter of seeing something wrong or right, but how much time you are meant to spend percolating in various emotional states in order to access the gift of expansion.

While the ego believes doing things in a more correct order will help it gain access to more positive feelings in a shorter amount of time, the soul abides in the awareness of truth — knowing you are meant to feel, think, believe, and choose exactly as you will to build up the momentum created in states of repression and discomfort in order to catapult into the opposite spectrum of higher energetic and emotional states. If you ping-pong back down, it is only to discover greater wounds to be healed, which builds up pressure to accelerate you into even higher moments of expansion than before. This means, if you take the time to be at peace with exactly the way things are and have played out, life will guide you exactly where you wish to be, as long as you allow the Universe to work on its preferred timeline of events.

“…if you take the time to be at peace with exactly the way things are and have played out, life will guide you exactly where you wish to be…”

2. You may not get what you want, but you will always feel the way you desire.

This might blow a giant cannonball through the old understanding of the law of attraction, but it’s worth deconstructing in order to give you fresh perspective and space to breathe. Imagine something that you want to attract into your reality. Notice that it is an object that has been associated with a belief that bringing this into your reality will also bring with it all the positive emotional states you wish to feel more often. Because an energetic healing period is the time you are meant to spend in lower states as a way of building momentum and skyrocketing into higher states, there is no inherent connection between what you want and how you hope to feel. It is merely a limiting spiritual belief fed by an assumption that you will feel differently once your personal circumstances appear differently. In truth, you are destined to feel much better, most likely before the logistics of your circumstances may be ready to shift. It’s not as if the Universe doesn’t wish to give you what you want, but it works in accordance with delivering to you exactly what you need, in order to become who you were born to be.

Ultimately, the process of envisioning different circumstances is only meant to get you in touch with how you wish to feel. Once established, the Universe brings to you all the encounters and moments of healing to help you inevitably feel as you’ve envisioned. When aligned with the soul, you are able to imagine better circumstances as a foreshadowing of intuitive knowing when not needing different experiences to permit different feelings. When incubating in the ego, you only imagine feeling better once your life circumstances change to your ego’s exact specifications. When you are able to honor what you want, while accepting that it may not be the very thing you need in order to feel how much better you’re already destined to feel as more of your healing journey is completed, an alignment with a greater depth of maturity helps unravel beliefs of superstition within the ego’s grip.

3. The Universe isn’t fragile.

How often do you tip-toe around in your reality, hoping not to disturb the sacred ground of existence with limiting ideas, over thinking, or the triggering of negative emotions? While there is much benefit to being tactful with your words, actions, and responses, you are living out the necessary highs and lows of your evolution in a very durable reality. A reality that is dressed up as a planet that has survived ice ages, volcanic explosions, and even held space for the arrival of meteor showers can surely endure the impact of your most limiting thoughts.

Especially if needing to be deprogrammed from old paradigm beliefs in the law of attraction, you are likely to think that any degree of imperfection will cause the Universe to frown upon your behavior and delay the arrival of your deepest desires. When trying to “get everything right” as a way of seducing the Universe to give you more of the things you want, it is a moment of inauthenticity conveyed through expressions of spiritual materialism that obstructs the vantage point of your clearest view.

“When you understand that you…do not live in a fragile Universe, you are well on your way to recovering from the pitfalls of spiritual perfectionism.”

The Universe is not fragile and remains as indestructible as the destiny that unfolds throughout each passing breath. You may need to make fear-based choices in order to build up courage and resonate with more inspired options, or spend time in tumultuous circumstances until you are ready to step into the unknown; but isn’t that what the play of life is about? Life is a living journey of expansion, where you are becoming aware of all that you know and remembering all that you are — one incremental choice at a time.

Your life is a work of art in progress. As most artists will tell you, it’s impossible to bring the magic of art to life without initially making a mess.

When you understand that you cannot make a mistake, do not require life to bring you different circumstances in order to feel better about yourself, and do not live in a fragile Universe, you are well on your way to grounding your empathic energy and recovering from the pitfalls of spiritual perfectionism.

Once each day isn’t a series of fear-based rituals or constantly checking things off your endless spiritual to-do list, you are able to meet the mystery of your existence as openly and authentically as it always meets you. From this space, you are able to see the importance of each momentary milestone and explore the infinite spectrum of personal experience without anything to manage, remember, control, or keep straight. This is where the immaculate potential of a spiritual journey truly begins.

Photo -Samantha Waters
:)
Home Base

Ubuntu: Choosing Compassion Over Anger

I’ve looked at this picture and accompanying words several times over the last 3 years. Oh, how many times I’ve wished for treatment on a deserted island or a posh beach-themed ibogaine clinic in Costa Rico overlooking the warm ocean waves. How many times have I wished for my “tribe” to surround my son and will him back to life by chanting mantras and singing songs of hope? How many times I wanted tearful meetings filled with prayers and arms slung desperately over shoulders clinging to each other for strength on what the next best course of action should be. I wanted us to come away feeling fulfilled and hopeful that my son would know how much he was loved and would just see the error of his ways as he collapsed in sincere repentance and dramatic promises.

I believe in the power of Love. I believe that connection is a valid treatment (not cure) for addiction. I believe when lost souls push people away, it’s really the addiction making room for more addiction. And although we may not do the Ubuntu tribe thing; we are all healing in our own way. We are all doing the best we can, even if it’s not supporting each other in unison together.

As of now, I’m in complete gratefulness in my blessings of having everything I asked for come to fruition and so much more that I “scarce can take it in”. Although nothing is promised other than the moment we are living in, I am forever grateful that my son is on his journey of recovery.

My “tribe” was other mothers, my husband, my daughters, and a couple dozen zoom meetings of suffering parents. My God, who was the recipient of all my crying and sometimes screaming, in my car, patiently held me as I let him lead my son from the murky waters of addiction into the cold cement walls of the jail where he was supposed to heal his damaged brain by being around other damaged people. But guess what? They were his tribe. They were the ones who welcomed him with workout clothes, the “best bunk” and an immediate entrance into a certain group which is paramount for survival in jail. Certain people giving him valuable advice that you can’t get out of a book. God was watching my boy when I couldn’t.

Today I want to share a collection of positive stories and quotes on helping people. I hope you enjoy these and can apply them to your situation somehow.

This memory recently came up on my Facebook page after the deadly Las Vegas shootings 4 years ago. This is what I wrote in response to that:

"I see the anger and shock in people while they move thru their emotions of this tragedy as it plays out; I'm convinced again that despite all the good that social media has done; the hate, blame, anger, snarkiness, rudeness in times like this, serve more damage than any good.

I know all of these emotions are usually fear-based and are people trying desperately to make sense of their world.
We want to feel like we have some control over our lives & our destiny.
When something like this happens, we realize -again- that we have zero control over anything. We only have our experience of what we are seeing.
So, according to that perspective, we lash out to try to get our views heard to somehow make sense of it. Our goal seems to be' to try to change our state of how we are feeling or make sure that in the future, this doesn't happen again. We do this by placing blame on anybody, anything. We want to feel like we matter in the scheme of things and that we can make a difference somehow.
But truth be told, we just can't understand why things like this happen. Human behavior, natural disasters, are all completely out of our control & have been the study of man for centuries. We are certainly not going to solve them suddenly by arguing on social media.  It's really wasted energy to try to wrap our heads around it. And it's not really that beneficial anyway, because the next shooting Is going to be different circumstances, a different city, a different gun, a different motive (if we ever discover the true motives).

So what if...

What if we love our fear?

What if we accept that we CANT UNDERSTAND it?

What if we*******gasp******
fought hate with LOVE???
Can you do it?
To set your own soul free can you forgive the face of evil without knowing why?
What if the reasons were crystal clear to us? Would that help heal 100's of gunshots & wounds & would it make 57 funerals not have to happen? No, it wouldn't.
Even if we knew the grand scheme of things, or even the possibility that these 57 victims agreed to come to earth & be the focus of such evil, would that make our hearts hurt less? Or our fear the next time we go to Vegas- any Less?

I doubt it.

We all are going to have to work thru our thoughts & feelings of fear & shock & disgust.
Why not accept those feelings for what they are without needing to know why, then
give ourselves & others more love during this time, not more hate.

Of course we may never know the reasons behind such tragedies (that particular one included); Matt Kahn says it best:

Blame is the first act of war. Compassion is the first sign of peace. In tested times, an awakening soul first turns to prayer instead of resorting to blame. This doesn’t exclude external action. Instead, the power of prayer energetically infuses each necessary action step, as a living fulfillment of your highest intention in motion, instead of unconsciously expanding the vibration of victimhood through patterns of blame.

If first choosing prayer instead of blame seems too passive of an option, then the internal war rages on. There is much change to be made in this world, but it can only be accomplished by those who are willing to stand up in the name of truth, and act out their most noble values, without forgetting their Divinity or closing their hearts along the way. This is the grace of conscious action.

Whether you blame instead of pray, pray instead of blame, pray for those who blame, or even blame those who pray -- you always deserve more love, not less." - Matt Kahn

When our loved ones disappoint us, when our hearts are shattered to pieces and we think we can never recover. When we want to yell at God or the sacklers, or the governor- anyone who may have contributed to our misery- who is the one who needs love now?

Us.

We can wrap ourselves up in the arms of a soft blanket and feel the power of love envelop us. We can recognize the divine wisdom of polarization. To know darkness is to appreciate and relish in the light.

And while we are trying to show up for ourselves, maybe 🐝 Bees 🐝can help us figure it out:

“My dad has bees.🐝Today I went to his house and he showed me all of the honey he had gotten from the hives. He took the lid off of a 5 gallon bucket full of honey and on top of the honey there were 3 little bees, struggling. They were covered in sticky honey and drowning. I asked him if we could help them and he said he was sure they wouldn’t survive. Casualties of honey collection I suppose.
I asked him again if we could at least get them out and kill them quickly, after all he was the one who taught me to put a suffering animal (or bug) out of its misery. He finally conceded and scooped the bees out of the bucket. He put them in an empty Chobani yogurt container and put the plastic container outside.
Because he had disrupted the hive with the earlier honey 🍯 collection, there were bees flying all over outside.
We put the 3 🐝🐝🐝little bees in the container on a bench and left them to their fate. My dad called me out a little while later to show me what was happening. These three little bees were surrounded by all of their sisters (all of the bees are females) and they were cleaning the sticky nearly dead bees, helping them to get all of the honey off of their bodies. We came back a short time later and there was only one little bee left in the container. She was still being tended to by her sisters.
When it was time for me to leave we checked one last time and all three of the bees had been cleaned off enough to fly away and the container was empty.
Those three little bees lived because they were surrounded by family and friends who would not give up on them, family and friends who refused to let them drown in their own stickiness and resolved to help until the last little bee could be set free.
Bee Sisters🐝Bee Peers🐝Bee Teammates🐝Bee helpers🐝Bee a friend🐝 We could all learn a thing or two from these bees. 🐝 🐝 🐝🐝🐝

-Author Unknown”

The Ring Theory

Source: Illustration by Wes Bausmith”

In Psychology Today author, Elana Premack Sandler wrote this article on where to direct our anger in crisis. I thought it was fitting for addiction situations when our addicted loved one is in the center circle most of the time. It states this:

“If you want to scream or cry or complain, if you want to tell someone how shocked you are or how icky you feel, or whine about how it reminds you of all the terrible things that have happened to you lately, that’s fine. It’s a perfectly normal response. Just do it to someone in a bigger ring.

Comfort in, dump out.”

Elana Premak Sadler

“Years ago, psychologist Susan Silk and her friend Barry Goldman wrote about a concept they called the “Ring Theory.” it’s used as a guide for family and friends to help prevent suicide.

You can read the entire article here: The ring theory

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Fighting Against Someone’s Free Agency

Way back in the 4th grade at Lincoln Elementary in small town America, some 40+ years ago; I remember seeing the anti smoking video of someone with a hole in their throat who didn’t let that stop them from smoking.

It horrified me so much I ran home in tears begging my Mom to PLEASE STOP SMOKING.

“Do It For Me! Please, Mom. Can’t you see I need you? Can’t you see I’m scared you will leave me then who will take care of me? Because if you leave me I will have a lifetime of fear of loss and will spend immense amounts of energy to avoid loss”

– the inner child of Samantha Waters.

I didn’t actually say all that. But now I know that my fear of losing people begin with that moment, only to be followed by the lesson that it’s not just losing people I have to fear. I had countless pet dogs run over by cars on the busy main street we lived on. Oh, how I mourned each of their deaths. It didn’t matter how much I vowed to keep them tied up, or behind a gate- NEVER in the house!; they always seemed to get out & became infatuated with chasing those moving black tires. As I sat beside each dying dog, with tears streaming down my freckled little girl face; I vowed to do better next time. To love harder. To be more responsible.

To control the actions of another so that I can feel better.

I really thought I could control the universe or at least those around me. Not in a domineering narcissistic way. I’m as far from that personality as can be. (Some might disagree) but my intent is the same, I suppose: to help ME feel better.

You see, when faced with these losses, every single time throughout my young life, I didn’t know how I was ever going to get through it. I felt incompetent to handle it, to forge through those uncomfortable emotions. Losing my brother, my hero, my protector, when I was 14 was my biggest devastation. It shook my whole confusing world even more and left me feeling more alone than ever. I would avoid working through those emotions for a period of 10 years at least. I accomplished this denial by not talking about it and using other behaviors of co-dependence and “clinginess” to specific people and things to give me that sense of feeling relevant and in control. Relevant enough to make things and people want to stay……

Of course that doesn’t work, which creates a wounded soul with somewhat of a inferior ego and victim mentality. I’m not going to go into the psychology of these terms, but to me it just means that the world is harsh.

After watching Netflix’s: Sensitive, the untold story, I realized that my sensitivity to the harshness of the world was a unique minority but certainly not rare. I would like to say that the losses and tragedies in my life have made me stronger, but I’m not so sure because I still feel incompetent to handle traumas as they come up.

Of course we all have thoughts of “if only”. I do know enough that those thought are NOT helpful and keep us stuck in the past. Recently I’ve been seeing a lot of “time is not linear” thoughts. This helps me feel better because it relieves the pressure of:

“I should know better”.

If our experiences fail to teach us how to react and feel “the correct feelings” then what excuse do we have? What if it’s just a matter of clumping certain experiences together as a journey themselves, not in a particular timeline? I like that.

I’m not talking about defense mechanisms. Our experiences drive those. I’m referring to the positive coping skills and healthy thoughts that “should” happen with each new drama and trauma we have.

My mom never did quit smoking until her diagnosis of lung cancer in her early 70’s. She was very lucky to have that long of an earthly life with the tobacco habits she maintained. And I was blessed to have her in my life and my children’s life for that long. I took care of my Mom, emotionally and in a lot of physical ways my whole life, and it was an honor, not a chore. It helped make me who I am. Had she “changed” into the person I wanted her to be back then, I may not be the person I am today.

At the time of that little girl running home to beg my mom to quit smoking, was all I wanted in the entire world. When my brother died, all I wanted in the entire world was for that not to happen. When each of my kids did things against what I wanted for them, I pleaded and bartered with my God to change their minds. When people rejected me, I suffered in silent anger and bitterness. Luckily hindsight 20/20 is almost always forgiving with wisdom and clarity.

I now can forgive all those who didn’t ‘do as I wanted them to’, but mostly I forgive that little girl who was just struggling to survive, just like everyone else.

“The very person you find it hardest to forgive is the one you need to let go of the most. Forgiveness means letting go. It has nothing to do with condoning behavior; it’s just letting the whole thing go. We do not have to know how to forgive. All we need to do is be willing to forgive. The universe will take care of the hows.” – Louise Hay

Where does “free agency” and doing things for others’ benefit meet? Many battles have been fought for this idea. I mean, sure – a parent shouldn’t smoke for or around her kids, but there’s that dastardly word: Should”.

Lots of things shouldn’t happen, but they do.

It’s out of our control. We have heard in modern psychology for years to take care of ourselves first. To fill our cup. We instinctively know that people can’t be responsible for others’ happiness. It just never works. There are too many variables. The person who runs around trying to please each person they interact with is not called being polite, it’s called exhausting. In these moments of confusion when I don’t know which master to please, I turn to Matt Kahn’s wisdom of loving the girl in me who doesn’t know what to do. Loving the crying girl, the girl in mourning for her brother, for her parents now gone, and for the unraveling of her family due to the effects of substance use. It’s ok to not know the answers or the outcomes. It’s ok just to LOVE the one who wonders.

At this moment, the Universe wants you to know….
It’s not a matter of what happens, but how we choose to respond, that determines our level of consciousness. Whether able to act courageously in the face of despair, or continually shut down whenever change arrives, self-love is always the answer.
It may not lessen the pain or change your reality on command, but it will always give you everything you need to be the unwavering support, unlimited compassion, and irrefutable source of forgiveness absent from the past. From honoring the one who needs to know every detail about the future before stepping forward, to embracing the one who only knows doubt– and even acknowledging the one who yearns for love but has no idea how to feel worthy enough to receive it, every experience offers countless opportunities to deepen our relationship with our hearts as a gateway into the oneness of Source energy.
Rather than attempting to embrace the past,
what if you took the time to honor the
one it happened to?
Instead of trying to passively accept the injustices of life, why not passionately acknowledge the authenticity within you that cannot be okay when anyone is denied, persecuted, harmed, alienated, shamed, or judged for any reason? What if you didn’t blame yourself for being so sensitive, but cherished how naturally open you are to receiving the gift of life, no matter how daunting or delicious any moment seems?
Even when you are unable to love, simply resting in the blessing of “May this moment help me learn to love as never before” inspires milestones of growth that uplift your experience, while energetically assisting in the transformation of others. On behalf of the Universe, when the world seems cruel, we become more caring. When witnessing the unthinkable, we respond with greater thoughtfulness. When the world denies its pain, we dare to turn towards it. When life appears to be at its darkest hour, we shine our lights to brighten each perspective. This is the way of the new spiritual paradigm.
All For Love,
Matt Kahn

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Projection Perfection

I broke my husbands heart yesterday.

No, I didn’t lie to him, or cheat on him. I didn’t dishonor him, unless you call crushing everything he loves- dishonoring.

We were parked at a business hooking a trailer up to the truck, when I wandered back to a beautiful row of thick sunflowers. I was admiring the giant blooms and trying to avoid the many buzzing bees who were ravishing the plants. I wanted to see if the seeds were dry enough to remove for planting later, so I was intent in concentrating on my task.

What I didn’t know, was that while I was lost in the beauty of the yellow and greens, and knowing this beauty meant one thing- FALL! Which meant winter- sigh……..; he was quietly taking pictures of me.  When he sent them to me later, I was aghast. Not being dramatic, I really was shocked to see my backside.

These pictures were everything I hated about myself and what had “become” of me the last few years. 

These pictures were also everything my husband loved about me the last few years.

Me: weight gain, low energy, finding enough gives to give a damn; trying to keep my hair colored and cut and weaved and somedays -even brushed. Trying to transition back from “skinny jeans” to “mom jeans” that were now suddenly “in”, but still look like crap on an older Mom. Oh, and my damn quarterback shoulders.

Him: the woman he loves, quiet beauty in nature, noticing things he would never notice, in my “zone”, peace, reflective state, low maintenance (sometimes).

As I told him to not send me anymore pictures, I could feel his energy drop. He took those pictures in love. His love. I crushed his intent-To remember my peace, my tranquility among nature at every opportunity.

Isn’t that the pits? We don’t see in ourselves what others see in us. We want to be different or at least better. We kick ourselves for not being what we think we should be. Sometimes, as in my case, we even despise ourselves. Coincidentally though, we also WANT others to BE something different! We want them to be what would make US feel better, instead of who they are.

Where is this dissidence coming from?

A need for perfect order in our lives? To fill some invisible hole of deficiency?

It sounds a bit crazy. Everyone wanting something else.

I heard somewhere that perfection is a form of self-harm because it is never attainable, thereby it ALWAYS knocks us back into a cycle of not achieving and subsequently hating ourselves or doubting our abilities or the worst:

Questioning our worth. 

Our worth, is not only being measured by what we assume others want out of us, but in our own however-messed-up Richter scale of perfection.

The trouble is: with perfectionism, the goal post is always being moved- by ourselves.

Photo Credit

My issue, with my picture is more of a self esteem/ body image concern, but it still rages: 

NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!

DO BETTER—–

For society’s standards, we will never be good enough. That’s why we must find our own place; in peace with ourselves. We can start with moments.

Moments when every thought, every picture that appears in your mind of how it should be, can be recognized for what it is: an opportunity to change it to thoughts of:

  • Good enough
  • Smart enough
  • Pretty enough
  • ‘Skinny’ enough

I may never see myself as my husband sees me, but I can find ways to love me exactly how I am, so I can then love others exactly how they are.

Matt Kahn describes it “perfectly” haha…

"In every moment, you and everyone else is always doing the best they possibly can. If anyone could do better — they would. When anyone can do better — they will. While spiritual teachings can give greater focus and attention to heart-centered choices, they are not to be confused with rules used to punish yourself with. Instead of ridiculing yourself with unrealistic ideas of perfectionism, most moments of healing call for a deep level of self-forgiveness where you are able to truly forgive yourself for any misjudgments in perception and reaction by truly accepting yourself — talents, flaws, and all. No one is designed to do this perfectly and it’s for such an important reason. It is to guarantee that in en route to realizing how conscious, liberated, and heart-centered you already are, life creates moments to intentionally burst any bubble of perfectionism the spiritual ego tends to hide in. As the spiritual ego gets down on itself for not “nailing it”, you are able to embrace such a part within you, allowing your love to further set free the aspect of self who only knows how to be rewarded with praise, honor, and accolade in exchange for doing something “right”. Let your journey be insightful, illuminating, clarifying, and sometimes, as messy as it's meant to be. No matter the roads traveled and the choices made, everything is made right in the end.

Confessions of a Spiritual Perfectionist

by Matt Kahn
Matt Kahn
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Rainy Day Morsels of Thought

From Matt Kahn

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Aside from it being how spirit lives in its highest form, one reason an empath is encouraged to always be the bigger person, no matter how anyone else behaves, is because they are more able to grow compared to the collective mentality of the world. Through their awareness alone, they haven’t placed a lid on their expansion, other than the empowered choices they refuse to embrace.

Being the bigger person may initially seem unfair to an empath when surrounded by family or a society still asleep in the conditioning still playing out. And yet, the more often an empath says ‘yes’ to being the person anchoring love, peace, kindness, and compassion, despite the attitudes, projections, and triggers of others, the more an empath is nourished by their own alignment with Spirit instead of relying on others for the sustenance they crave.

All For Love,

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Home Base

Is Forgiveness Letting Someone Off The Hook?

Humble Movement for the Liberation of All

-Matt Kahn

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It is quite common to confuse forgiveness with ‘letting someone off the hook’ from being accountable for their actions– as if forgiveness robs someone of the opportunity of owning the gravity of their most unconscionable behavior. While untrue, it stems from a subconscious belief often suggesting, “if I don’t condemn, I’m being compliant.​” It’s quite an extreme view that is ultimately rooted in fear– in particular, the fear of being associated with atrocious actions or believing atrocity will only get worse, “if I don’t relentlessly judge, condemn, and criticize insidious behavior.”​​ Even though attacking victimizers does more to strengthen the worthlessness that causes them to hurt others as a way of bypassing their own unresolved pain than it does to rescue those being hurt. In essence, condemning a victimizer creates more time and space for that criticism to become additional ammunition to unload onto​ more innocent people. It furthers the problem instead of resolving it at its root.

In order to cleanse this planet of predatory patterning and create an energetic grid with a vibration that allows change to be processed, growth to be inspired, and even hardship to be overcome without harm done to self or another, both the victim and victimizer must be healed.

By praying for the salvation of a victimizer, you aren’t saying anything is okay or let’s let it go.​ You are aware that, through our interconnection of oneness, ​praying for the salvation of a victimizer transforms that aspect into a version of self that cannot and will not do harm, so to have the space for self-accountability to arise. Simultaneously, such an act of salvation liberates every victim of that abuser, including the ancestral lineages of all victims and victimizers through your courageous desire to serve and further the healing of life’s most daunting depth of suffering. It’s nearly like being face-to-​face with a criminal who has victims held hostage, not knowing this is a stand-o​ff with your true Buddha nature. If ​it was ​a stand-off with your ego, you might be conflicted as to how to spare the victims held at bay​​ without letting the victimizer go. And yet, when understanding the grace of Universal redemption, no one is let ‘off the hook’ to go spread further harm,​ but rather escorted directly into the heart of Source to undergo a radical process of transformation and self-accountability that cannot be confused with rationalizing the damage done in moments of abuse. And so, the wise Buddha grants the victimizer salvation, freeing the​ victims to begin the healing process, while the victimizer begins the journey of facing hurt and the hurt caused without hurting another.

None of this will feel fair to the human self ​which is why, as a form of karmic yoga, the human focuses on how each courageous act of prayer, contribution to social reform, and donations made to reputable charities furthering change on this level help rescue victims from abuse. If and when ending cycles of violence, war, abuse, suffering, and separation weigh deeply on our hearts, then may we leave no stone unturned in the unconditional redemption of each soul. Since not everyone is ready for this type of step or contribution, please hold no pressure over yourself to push and push until you can achieve the unthinkable. That type of push would make it more about self-achievement than the abused beings we are so selflessly serving. No matter how much or how little you are able to contribute, dare to bless the selflessness of awakened beings who are willing to ‘go there’ on humanity’s behalf—whether anyone else may go there, understand its importance, or would rather condemn such a being for the healing inspired​ and the number of victims and ancestral lineages quietly set free. It is all a part of know thy self. You can go within and know yourself as an entire Universe of infinite Universes. And yet, you haven’t truly known yourself until you come back from within to meet extensions of yourself as the people you help to heal. This is why the deepest self-realization is not a phrase or concept, but a humble movement of inspired service for the liberation of all. May all beings be healed and liberated by the inspired actions we take, the prayers we create, and by becoming the change we wish to see — now and forever. And so it is.

All For Love,

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We thank you for the light of Holy Solution you shine.

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