Brain Changes with Addiction

I first learned about the hijacked brain in a nursing in-service at work in 2017. Nurses were just starting to be able to get help for their risk of becoming addicted. My family was experiencing our first what the F moments of something being amiss with my 32 year old son. He was flying highContinue reading “Brain Changes with Addiction”

Holier Than Thou

My momma used to call them: “hypocrites”. The people who seem to be on their ‘high horse’ looking down on others or because of their choices or conditions in life. Or maybe it’s actually us, who find ourself saying about  others, ” If only- THEY wouldn’t have done THAT– I wouldn’t have to do this,Continue reading “Holier Than Thou”

Empty Chairs

This time of year is bound to drudge up painful feelings for those who have lost a child or have a prodigal son or daughter who is lost in addiction or otherwise estranged. The happy music, with families dancing around the warmly decorated fireplace, is almost too much for moms like me who are worriedContinue reading “Empty Chairs”

Constraining Beliefs

ł₣ Ø₦ⱠɎ After a week or 2 of disappointing events, and a sucky work week, I was destined to a restless and worrisome night – replaying a conversation with a coworker over and over.  This morning when I jumped in my car for an eye appointment, This Talk by Wendy Watson was playing on theContinue reading “Constraining Beliefs”

Give Me Back My Son

ƛ͙ Ɗ͙ƛ͙Ƴ͙ Ɩ͙Ɲ͙ Ƭ͙Ӈ͙Є͙ LƖ͙Ƒ͙Є͙ Sunday: I’m at work, passing medications- the irony. 10:15 text- hey mom, is there any way you could help me out? I don’t get paid until tomorrow and I borrowed $100 from a friend to cover rent. 10:16 hi son, nice to hear from you. I could buy you someContinue reading “Give Me Back My Son”

Addictology Deconstructed

Yup you read that right. Kind of a tongue twister, but this Doctor really did a great job at deconstructing addiction for the layman. She lived it as a heroin addict while in medical school and for years after. She wrote her experience in this inciteful Book. She is such a valued resource in educatingContinue reading “Addictology Deconstructed”

“Because of Covid”

“Because of Covid” How many times a day do we hear “Because of Covid?” I’ve never wanted to die. But because of Covid, I sometimes do. No, I don’t have Covid. Nor do I want it. No, I don’t think it’s a fake virus. I think it’s a virus. A relatively unknown virus. That kills.Continue reading ““Because of Covid””

Anticipatory Grief

ƛ͙ Ɗ͙ƛ͙Ƴ͙ Ɩ͙Ɲ͙ Ƭ͙Ӈ͙Є͙ Լ͙Ɩ͙Ƒ͙Є͙ A person with a substance use disorder. Is the correct title. But today. It doesn’t matter. My son is lost in the chaotic world of addiction. He’s in pure survival mode. And so am I. The middle of the night awakenings are wearing on me…. Checking my phone for “theContinue reading “Anticipatory Grief”

Rice on White

ƛ͙ Ɗ͙ƛ͙Ƴ͙ Ɩ͙Ɲ͙ Ƭ͙Ӈ͙Є͙ LƖ͙Ƒ͙Є͙ As much as I dislike the title, it is what it is. Time to make do and find the hidden rainbow right? There didn’t seem to be ANY rainbows to be found as I stared down at the floor full of rice. I was at work and had just ranContinue reading “Rice on White”

Hi Santa

Hi Santa Hi Santa, Nice to see you again. Have you been quarantined? Oh you are always quarantined? For 11 months? Well I’m glad you decided to show up this crazy year. Have I been a good girl? Well, that’s debatable. What do I want for Christmas you say? I thought you’d never ask. IContinue reading “Hi Santa”

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