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Dr Gabor Mate

 "All Addictions are attempts to regulate internal emotional state"            

Rob Waters January 10, 2019

Dr. Gabor Maté, a well-known addiction specialist and author, spent 12 years working in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, a neighborhood with a large concentration of hardcore drug users. The agency where he worked operates residential hotels for people with addictions, a detox center and a pioneering injection facility, where drug users are permitted to shoot up and can get clean needles, medical care and counseling.

Born to a Jewish family in Budapest at the time of the Nazi occupation, he and his parents migrated to Canada, where he earned his medical degree at the University of British Columbia. Maté, whose personal experience informs his work, is known for tracing substance abuse problems to trauma that often starts in childhood and spans generations.

His work has been acclaimed, but a Psychology Today columnist suggested that his theories are reductionist and unsupported by data — a contention Maté disputes.

Amid the severe opioid epidemic in the U.S., Maté recently visited Sacramento, where he conducted workshops with addiction specialists and families affected by addiction. California Healthline contributor Rob Waters caught up with him there. The following interview was condensed and edited for clarity.

Q: A big part of your book “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” is about how you came to see that childhood trauma and pain lie at the root of addiction. Tell me about your insights.

Downtown Eastside is North America’s most concentrated area of drug use. In 12 years, I worked with hundreds of female patients, and every one had been sexually abused as a child. Men were physically, sexually and emotionally abused, suffered neglect, were in foster care.

Thirty percent of people there are native Indians, what we call First Nations people. For generations, the government abducted their children and sent them to residential schools. Parents were barred from seeing kids. Kids were physically and sexually abused by teachers and priests. Tens of thousands died. Because of multigenerational trauma, native communities have high rates of sexual abuse, violence, addiction and suicide. It’s the most addicted population in Canada.

All addictions — alcohol or drugs, sex addiction or internet addiction, gambling or shopping — are attempts to regulate our internal emotional states because we’re not comfortable, and the discomfort originates in childhood. For me, there’s no distinction except in degree between one addiction and another: same brain circuits, same emotional dynamics, same pain and same behaviors of furtiveness, denial and lying.

Q: You were born into a Jewish family in Budapest during the Holocaust. How did that affect your life?

I was born in 1944, and two months later the Germans came in. Hungary then had the only population of Jews in Eastern Europe that hadn’t been annihilated. Now it was our turn. My mother had a stressed pregnancy. My father’s away in forced labor; she doesn’t know if he’s dead or alive. When I’m 5 months of age, my maternal grandparents are sent to Auschwitz and gassed to death. My mother is 24, terrified and depressed. In October, they start killing Jews in Budapest, taking them to the Danube and shooting them.

When I’m 11 months, she gives me to a total stranger. She said: “Please take this baby out of here because I can’t keep him alive.” I didn’t see her for six weeks. In a child’s mind, that’s abandonment. I got the template for addiction: a lot of emotional pain, which I suppressed.

Q: You write about your own addictions being a workaholic and binge shopper of classical music, once spending $8,000 in a week on CDs.

I was not addicted to substances but I might as well have been. I couldn’t stop myself. I lied to my wife. I lied to my kids. It doesn’t matter which addiction you’re looking at; it’s the same dynamics.

Q: Last year in the U.S., an estimated 72,000 people died of drug overdoses, most from opioids. The U.S. penalizes drug use harshly and has the largest prison population in the world 2.3 million people, almost 1 percent of the adult population. Meanwhile, 90 percent of people with substance use disorders in the U.S. are not getting treatment. What’s your take on this approach?

The more pain you cause people, the more you shame and isolate them, the worse they’ll feel about themselves. The more suffering you impose, the more you strengthen their need to escape. If you wanted to design a system to maintain drug use and enhance the profits of the illegal drug trade, I would design the system you have.

Q: Let’s talk about the science. How does trauma in the early years of life affect brain development and predisposition to addiction?

Studies show that early stress affects both the nerve cells in the brain and the immune systems of mice and humans and makes them more susceptible to cocaine as adults. If you look at brain circuits implicated in impulse regulation or stress regulation or emotional self-regulation, all are impaired in addicts.

Q: Why do you think the opioid epidemic exploded in the way it has in recent years?

On top of the childhood trauma and the profound social and economic dislocation so many people experience, most physicians are completely uninformed about trauma and don’t understand how to address chronic pain or treat addiction. Hence they have a propensity to prescribe opiates all too quickly without looking at root causes or alternatives. Most people introduced to opiates in recent years started on medical prescriptions. When these are stopped, they turn to illicit substances. All this is greatly exacerbated by pharmaceutical companies’ well-documented drive to induce doctors to prescribe.

Q: Critics like psychologist and addiction specialist Stanton Peele say you’re proposing a reductionist vision in which abuse history and biochemical changes to the brain inevitably lead to substance abuse.

Peele totally misconstrues my argument. Nobody’s saying that every traumatized person becomes addicted. I’m saying that every addicted person was traumatized. There are other outcomes of trauma including cancer, autoimmune disease, mental illness — addiction is only one of them.

Q: You write with compassion about the people you worked with. But you also write about them as broken people who rarely seem to recover. What good are you doing?

If somebody had cancer and pain and you couldn’t cure the cancer, what would you do? Would you say, “I’m not going to help you any more”? Or would you try to ameliorate their suffering? The essence of harm reduction is you reduce the harm. You don’t impose abstinence. If they choose that at some point, I provide whatever support they need.

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Gratefulness In the Midst of Worry

As I read this post from a fellow blogger, I couldn’t help but remember hearing that story/ analogy in church many years ago.

Back when I had a bunch of little sticky fingers, puppies, and lots of mud. What I wouldn’t give to go back to those days. At the time, I thought my life was difficult but compared to now, I would go back any day. My parents were alive and my kids were all home and safe.

The thought of addiction affecting my family was completely out of my head.

But tonight, after going down memory lane on my phone with pictures and videos, I felt the familiar sadness creeping up from my belly….

I hate feeling bad for what isn’t anymore. I hate not being able to enjoy almost 33 years of my kids memories just because the last 3 have been bad.

But as I read my fellow blogger’s story of Thanksgiving, I realized I was kicking God in the teeth. ( I wonder if (He) has tee….. Nevermind).

Why didn’t I stop & tell my kids how much hardship they would face? And how strong they are? Why do they look so sweet and innocent then? As if they would be ok, with just life’s normal struggles?

Because they WERE sweet & innocent. They never wanted life to be so difficult. They ARE strong. They have just forgotten. Like in a coma with amnesia. They’ve Forgotten who they are. Forgotten their strength. They’ve become identified with their struggle. Labeling themselves, as society has labeled them.

In my defense, i probably did tell them.

And I’m trying to now -in their worst moments-even as adults. As my fellow blogger put it:

Respond to your children with love in their worst moments, their broken moments, their angry moments, their selfish moments, their lonely moments, their frustrated moments, their inconvenient moments; because it is in their most unlovable human moments that they most need to feel loved.― L. R. Knost

For now, instead of dwelling in the past and feeling sad, I will rejoice and embrace the time I had with my little ones; knowing that I did the best I could with the precious gifts God gave me. I served him. I loved them. I will continue to love them despite their choices.

Instead of getting mad at God for not moving the mountains that I want moved; I will praise him for entrusting me with their care. Despite my moments of guilt and despair, I still believe that I was their choice for a Mother, for whatever reason.

Lauren Daigle says it best

Home Base, Life's Zilly Things

RBF

That’s right.

Those of you who know what this means probably have it yourself.

Maybe not.

These are questions to ask yourself if you want to know if you have it.

  • Have you ever been asked what’s wrong when nothing is wrong?
  • Have you ever been told you look soooooo tired?
  • Have you ever sat in the hairdressers chair and looked at that person in the mirror not even recognizing the face?
  • Have you ever turned on your phone camera and saw a giant, sad, scary face staring back?
  • How many times can you count the instances where someone asked what you were p’d off at?

Resting Bitch Face.

It’s a thing. Wikipedia even recognizes it saying it goes back to the King of France in 1654 who knew?

And WHO KNEW men, including Eminem could get it? Even Kings! Lol

When I wrote this article regarding how I like wearing masks due to covering up my emotions; I failed to mention the benefits of having my RBF hidden too.

As long as I can remember, I’ve been mistaken as grouchy. So the question comes up: which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Hmm. Maybe the chicken came first.

Regardless, I spent my life as a peacemaker, always trying to get those around me to feel good or “differently”, which would eventually come back to haunt me.

I learned that it’s ok to feel anyway you want. Just like it’s ok to look anyway you want. If others have issues with it, I learned to slyly (and possibly passive aggressively), rebound the ball back to them.

When my co-worker asked me why I don’t talk more, I asked him how much talking would make him feel ok about me? He seemed taken aback.

So how much of a resting bitch face would I NOT NEED to make me popular?  Most people would say it’s all in the first impressions. If you can pull off coming across as friendly instead of standoffish, that’s a plus. 

So imagine my surprise when I found out there’s a cure. Vanessa Van Edwards gives the following suggestions in Her Article

  • When you are looking at someone, look up at them. This makes your eyes more open and less downcast.
  • Use makeup to reshape your downcast eyes.
  • Replace your neutral frown with a small smile. …
  • Own it.

I tried for alot of years to replace my downturned mouth for a fake plastic one, but I just couldn’t maintain it. So I guess I’ll just have to own it.

I have plenty of celebrities to keep me company, including my husband’s favorite Anna Kendrick. Lol

Besides, there are worse things……

Life's Zilly Things

BaNaNaS

Taken by me, this morning, in my kitchen

What an odd thing to write about, right? But every single time my bananas start to look like this, it takes me back 20 years.

I had this thing with bananas. They were touted as soooo nutritious, which led me to buy them a̲l̲l̲ t̲h̲e̲ t̲i̲m̲e̲. I mean ALL THE TIME.

Even though……

They always ended up looking like this….or worse

Banana past it’s time

I know, I don’t understand it. I think they were liked ok by my family.

I mean it’s not like anyone ever said, “I hate bananas.”

So I just kept buying them.

Vacations were the worst. I’d pack the car with treats, never forgetting bananas. I would see them every time we stopped and I would ask one of my kidlets..

“Do you want a banana?”

“No Mom”

“Why not?”

“Because i just don’t”

“Don’t you like them?”

“Yes, I do, I just don’t want one.”

And that conversation was repeated over and over for some 20 years.

And I’m still buying bananas…..

However, after posting this insanity quote, I realized the correlation to “bananas” & “crazy.”

As an advocate for mentally illness as it relates to drug use; I thought..I can’t be posting this…..

I decided to look it up.

Here’s what I found on the site The Real Dope- no less🙀

It’s crazy! I mean……it’s very interesting.

The story of bananas is a lot shorter and more mysterious than one would think.. Here the Oxford English dictionary can reliably get us back only to 1968, when a University of South Dakota publication called Current Slang reported that Kentucky college students (of “both sexes”) were using bananas to mean “excited and upset; ‘wild.’

In addition, (orange you glad I didn’t say addiction?) a 1935 glossary of criminals’ patois called The Underworld Speaks, “He’s bananas” is said to mean “He’s sexually perverted; a degenerate.” Here the connection to “crazy” is all too plausible, considering that at the time homosexuality was still widely understood to be a mental disorder.

Meanwhile, in what may have been an unrelated trend, by the 1850s or so another slang meaning for nut was “a person’s head” (no real stretch there), and “off one’s nut” meant “crazy.”

How the times change to upgrade on slang words to better fit sociatial standards. . There’s even a new dictionary on the block for slang words. The Urban Dictionary.

The old comedies were the best to depict slang words

But all joking aside, we were watching a preview of Eddie Murphy’s “Norbit” from 2007 and realized that movie would NEVER be allowed nowadays. As with many others like Archie Bunker.

The kids can say these slang words for 2020 such as periodt, boomer, slay, shook & yeet; but we can’t make fun of adults in a movie anymore, or someone will be offended.

I mean I get it. I don’t think he should have called Edith a dingbat. Or Rob Reiner “Meathead” but at the time, I laughed. My parents laughed. Did they know that was emotional abuse? Probably not. There was no internet to tell them. 😜🤪

Including me. For my cause, I hate the word “junkie” or “addict.” The correct term is person with a substance use disorder.

Same thing when mentally retarded became politically incorrect. The Federal registry, a journal of the federal government changed it to “Intellectual Disability.”

Anyway…. That’s my banana post for the day. 🍌.

Home Base, Uncategorized

Empty Chairs

This time of year is bound to drudge up painful feelings for those who have lost a child or have a prodigal son or daughter who is lost in addiction or otherwise estranged. The happy music, with families dancing around the warmly decorated fireplace, is almost too much for moms like me who are worried sick about their child or children.

We go through the motions of forced shopping, baking, decorating, even if it’s the bare minimum. We think no one will notice, as long we do our “due- duty”.

But they do.

My husband sees the pain on my face as I order gifts online, knowing that I can’t order anything for my oldest son.

He sees me plan our family Christmas party which is a 35 year tradition, knowing that ‘the boy’ won’t be there.

My other kids notice the endless memes I post about “sitting with someone in their darkness” and “help the homeless, it’s someone’s brother, son or Dad.”

They long for the days when I wasn’t so hyper- focused on the “least happiest child”.

Hell, I long for those days! The days before addiction hit our family. I watch with happy tears, a video from Christmas 2016. My son, in his brand new custom- built- by -him house with it’s cobalt blue Christmas lights shining brightly along the perfectly planned ranch beams. It was the picture of success. A successful business, a beautiful family, a warmly decorated house, with plenty of presents under the tree.

My son happily unwraps the gifts in the “saran wrap game” we were playing. He slams it down in true bigger- than-life style that was all his own. Everyone laughs! The sounds of his little girl gleefully giggling at her daddy breaks my heart.

How long has it been since she saw him? 10 months now. How she must lie in bed and wonder what she did wrong.

I hate hate hate this disease.

And no, I will not argue about the cause of this nightmare. Disease or choice.

To me it’s doesn’t matter. Pain is pain. Even if I didn’t have a loved one experiencing the horrible consequences, I’m not going to play judge or jury on someone’s life.

No one would choose the consequences of Addiction. They wanted the benefits of a drink or a pain killer. They didn’t want the excruciating torment that follows.

So here we are. The holidays again. How to be in the spirit? ⛄🎄⛄🎄

My nurse practitioner friend, whom I did confide in, said I needed some stabilization meds, but how can I take the very thing that started this nightmare? 💊.

Yes I know.

Even my professional sense says that it’s different. I won’t abuse them. I’m not going to get addicted to antidepressants.

But I resist. You see, I have this underlying Hope.  This theory that every day he’s alive means that EVERY DAY could be the day he chooses recovery and ‘ I ‘ will be all better.

With the law bearing down on him, you would think.  But his wretched master is a cunning one. “H̷E̷” (the wretched master) tells the most outrageous lies EVERY damn day. And my smart, quippy, entrepreneur son believes them!!!

My son, believes that just one more day will make everything ok. One more day of👹 u̷s̷i̷n̷g̷👹, then he will be ready to stop. But that day never seems to come.

So meanwhile, I have to find a solution.

I’ve always peached gratefulness, but where was mine now? When my little baby granddaughter sends me a video singing

🥶”千尺ㄖ乙乇几” 🥶

in true 2 year old free-spirit form! 🎶👯🎶👯🎶; My heart melts. I Must find a way to ᴍᴀᴋᴇ sᴘɪʀɪᴛs ʙʀɪɢʜᴛ again.

I can’t let others drown in my misery.

Even if my going through the motions means I add a little song to those motions.

What if I add a beautiful handmade ( dollar-store) ornament to each of their gifts?

What if I actually bring the JOY that I so desperately want myself to my other equally deserving beautiful family members?

What a beautiful thing. To create pleasure out of such pain. I think they call that alchemy….

I call it JØɎ.

In gratefulness we find our true freedom 🇺🇲

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Preventing Addiction

I mean…is that even possible? Maybe not with our children, because I believe we do the best we can with what we have while raising them.

But as adults I have always felt that if we stick to our personal “checkpoints” as I call them- we could prevent allot of problems.

When I watch a movie, I’m always curious as to that “ʍօʍҽղԵ” when things changed to start the downward spiral either in the form of stealing, cheating, lieing & addiction.

My very favorite example of this is an old movie with Bridgette Fonda & Billy Bob Thornton. Good Lord, talk about normal people’s lives being thrown to the wolves! A Simple Plan

One of my fav movies.

Hindsite being 20/20 aside-; If we religiously ( I use that word loosely but completely IN context here) have a self -monitoring system that we can use to pull ourselves back from a path that will only lead to disaster, I believe we could catch allot of issues.

This system might actually be a weekly worship, a nightly prayer, a daily journal writing, or a friend who holds us accountable as simply as in the form of a conversation once in a while to help us see how far fetched our thinking is getting – lol.

There are many other ways to do this including Hal Elrods Miracle Morning program called Savers Seen HERE.

Or reviewing Miguel Ruiz 4 agreements daily Seen HERE.

Tony Robbins, of course has his billionaire advice HERE.

Mel Robbins morning routine made her famous ( & Rich) with just 5 measly seconds HERE

Recently I discovered a great list right on the government substance use disorder website thats listed in my GET HELP section on MY site

It’s called “Creating a Healthier Life, a step by step guide to wellness.

You can download it free HERE

Many companies have put their spin on it but it’s basically an expanded version of Maslow’s hierchy of needs.

When looking at this, it’s easy to see how far off the circle IN ALL AREAS addicts find themselves, so it’s no wonder how overwhelming it must be to even begin.

Luckily some wonderful recovery professional made a simple recovery model- which I love.

I hope you’re able to see this 🙂

I hope these resources can help us see how important it is to stay true to ourselves on all areas of life so we can be a healthy, emotionally strong beacon for those struggling. Not to mention to keep US out of danger of going off track for living our best lives ❣️✨❣️

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How Being a Good Hunter Made my Son a Better Addict..

My son grew up with 2 brothers, a dad, a Grandpa, and many cousins and uncles who loved nature; camping, fishing & hunting.

He spent days, weeks and months navigating the trails and roads of the mountain ranges of Idaho.

They sat around the campfire eating hot dutch oven stew and talking about their days adventures.

They forged bonds of comradery & teamwork as they surveyed the land and forged through rough trails.


This was their tribe.

The goal was clear.

Hunting and tracking the deer and elk to provide meat for their families for the winters just like their ancestors before them.


My son was taught to respect the land and use it for the beauty it graciously offered.

He was taught to survive in the cold fall months for sometimes 8 hours a day while they planned endless attempts at tracking the magnificent creatures.
These animals tried to elude them the best they could, not knowing that their short life span would eventually take them with disease or famine.

My son learned that he could do anything if he could successfully track an animal in its home environment.

He learned that a huge mountain is nothing compared to the prize on the other side.

He learned that watching his cold breath in the early morning hours was all part of the game. When his fingers became numb from the cold he figured out how to get the circulation back by jumping in place or blowing his breath into them. He learned to bring hand warmers next time.
Years later this perseverance would benefit his addiction in more ways than I realized.

Thankfully most people couldn’t handle the sheer abuse & chaos that addiction forces a body & mind to endure. But my son learned that his amazing body could handle cold, wet, uncomfortable situations, as long as the goal was in mind.

He learned to be strong, independent, not to whine, and always be focused on the goal.

Even if the goal is now an evil drug who has him captured.

He knows his body is amazingly tough so the drug tells him he’s invincible.

He knows that the goal is more important than anything right now so the drug tells him the goal is to come on over to the smooth side. To be ‘numb’ and content -then everything will be alright.

He knows it takes teamwork to reach a goal so the drug’s evil powers tells him that shady people are his ticket.

He knows that soon he won’t be cold and hungry and tired so he’s willing to wait and do whatever the evil drug tells him to do.

When people say not to coddle the addict, I have to laugh a little because my son was never coddled.
When he became homeless after losing everything he had worked for for 10+ years, he knew he would survive. Tough love didn’t work on him because he was fiercely independent anyway.

When he was fired from his last job, he had no car, no house, no clothes and was in a town he hadn’t lived in for 6 years, yet he still figured out someone to call for a ride, begged for a bed & figured out what to do. He found people he had helped before and they were more than willing to feed him and give him a ride.

I would have collapsed in tears and begged to go to rehab.

But not my son. He’s very resourceful, even though he’s hurting inside. He feels the pain of disappointmeant and judgement enough to cut deeply into his rejected soul yet the drug has enough of a hold on his brain to tell him that’s it’s not his fault.
That he still doesn’t have to quit. All those people just don’t understand.

So he trudges on ….

Through the depths of this madness…

To find some peace, any peace from this battle raging inside his mind.

That’s the goal.
Peace & comfort.
Once he finds that, he will be ok for a minute.

His drug is like the campfire. Now he’s ‘safe’ and warm, he feels ‘ loved’. He’s with people who understand and accept him ….

He’s with his ‘tribe’.

Even if they’re all going down with the ship….

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The Powerless of Cravings

“If you will understand that we are starving, then you will understand why we do the things we do in our addiction. We’re not bad people. We’re just people. Just like you. But unlike you, we’re starving. This is why we hock, sell, trade everything we have. This is why we do the things that hurt the people we love. Our loved ones will say that we love our drugs more than we do them, but that’s not true. Even if you’re starving, you still love.”

https://medium.com/@samphd87/opioid-addiction-and-the-myth-of-powerlessness-a128dc54d114

This article is one of the best I’ve seen explaining opiod addiction to the average person from the point of view of the person suffering. It also directs people to resources if they are interested in finding out more.The author is a doctor who suffered himself for 22 years.
Dr. Sam Snodgrass received a Doctorate in Biopsychology from the University of Georgia in 1987. He was then awarded a National Institute on Drug Abuse Post-Doctoral Fellowship in the Pharmacology and Toxicology Department at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. After his Post-Doc, he was asked to remain as a faculty member in this department. In 1995 he lost his faculty position due to his opioid addiction. His use of heroin and Dilaudid began in 1976. For the first13 years, his use was occasional. In 1989 he developed an opioid addiction and did not stop for the next 22 years. He is currently a member of the Board of Directors of the 501 c3 non-profit Broken No More and its subsidiary organization, GRASP (Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing).

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Lines In The Sand

I’m only 53 but I’ve saw a few things in my life. I saw the dust gather on the little black Atari box to make way for the big donkey Kong arcade game at the local dairy Queen.

I watched the excitement of of the neighborhood kids gathered around having asteroid contests. I watched the birth of Xbox, the internet and cell phones.

I watched the cars get smaller while the pricetag got bigger.

I saw houses get bigger while families got smaller. I watched parents work more & more hours while kids did more activities.

I watched the same 24 hours on the clock yet I saw time dwindling.

I saw exhausted frustrated parents at the end of the with nothing left to give to the most important people in their life. Work harder to have nicer things only to have less time to enjoy it.

In spite of this diminished time I saw peoples energy going into things far away from them even when they were home.

The distraction seemed legit.

It seemed easier to have an opinion on other people’s lives than what might be happening behind the scenes of theirs.

It became the norm even brazen to boast about the ridiculousness of something you only heard 3 minutes of information about. It seemed obvious that you would have done things differently had you been over there …. Plus you had expert opinions to guide you.

By the end of the hour, you, the expert & the newscaster had it all cut & dried. Your solution to the dilemma was of course the “right and only way to do the thing best for all involved..jeeshhhh it’s a no brainer, can’t you see that?”

Onto the next thing…

Your world in 60 seconds became a well known household slogan.

After all this WAS your world .. out there.. right?🌍🌏🌎

You HAD to care.. less SOMEone might do SOMEthing that might affect YOU if you didn’t insert your expert opinion..

Everyone knows that….

Don’t they?

Rapid technology has brought us millions of daily information to sort through. It became harder to stay neutral and let it pass. The Social kings have now admitted how they hooked us…

Hook line & sinker 🎣with bursts of dopamine day after day. 🧨We couldn’t wait until the next hit of ego- filled satisfaction. Family time, instead, became hours of internet searching, arguing, reading, playing silly games and surveys But WITH STRANGERS.

Many a study has been done on these effects… But here we are now- 2020- with a major major dilemma.

Before – we could have walked away & not had it affect us …. But NOW we can’t.

We are in too deep.

WE MUST CHOOSE A SIDE…

We must prove we are right & justified in our opinion. We look for evidence to back our claims. And we find it!!!

Social media has shown us how they served it up on a platter to us.

And now they’re taking it away. Suddenly it’s not ok to be us….. Suddenly we MuST think like our friends or our family or our co- worker’s or we are the stupid idiot who has a profile picture that CLEARLY shows what an inbecile we are.

Suddenly we are served limited information according to some obscure fact checker in some random basement ..

Yes I’ve lived half a century but I’ve never seen the intolerance and sheer derogatory venom that comes out of people’s keyboards.

And no.

It’s NOT ANYONE’S fault.

Yes the media can reward us with more of what we want, and we can feel like we’re part of some elite club, but at the end of the day, it’s US, OURSELVES & I that are responsible for Our words & actions.

AT the end of the day what matters?

CNN isn’t gonna be on your death bed, zuckerberg won’t send flowers. 💐

Jim Blow in Yimbucktwo isn’t going to suddenly apologies and say “hey man, you were right- sorry about giving you crap online”

Nope, at the end of the day, at the end of our life, WE are the ones who have to answer to & feel good about the energy and vibes we spread…

WE ARE responsible for the seeds of strength we plant or the fire & venom we spew.

What is your legacy gonna be?