Tag: healing

The Beauty of the Cocoon

When I was in Sedona a few years ago I was sick for 8 hours straight. Couldn’t lift my head enough to walk or drive. I ended up watching the history channel all day.  I came across this fascinating documentary on Butterflies! It showed how the caterpillar attaches itself to the twig with all its legs and holds still and then drops to only the back 2 legs and hangs there while its protective coat is grown.
I thought. Wow! what discipline! The butterfly KNOWS it must do that–even though it may be perfectly happy being a caterpillar,  just inching along, finding treasures and doing life in a caterpillar world. But suddenly there just comes a time when it just KNOWS it must go find a twig!

I was so impressed with that beautiful creature emerging from the sheet that I took a picture of the TV.

I know we are not animals, but what if we were so in tune to ourselves and our destiny and what the universe is paving the way for us to have that we KNEW instinctively when to go find our twig. We just KNEW when to have the discipline and where-with-all to HOLD STILL & let something cover us up tightly– almost taking away all our freedom, knowing it was for our ultimate benefit!

To GROW into something fantastic and more beautiful than we could EVER imagine!!

What if that “something” that triggers our growth was buried in our trials? What if when we get knocked down–even daily, or yearly, or even that horrible once or twice-in-a-lifetime illness or death of a loved one that just shakes us–what if that’s our twig?

A sheath that seems to engulf us with pain and darkness, but really it’s protecting us for something bigger or making us stronger to honor that loved one.

No I’m not talking about “everything happens for a reason”. 

No one wants this shit.

Not even God himself wants this for his children. Some things happen due to free will which — some believe — was a gift given to us to come to earth. That free will is challenged constantly, by those we love and by those we barely know. First our parents try to mold and shape our strong will into doing good, for ourselves and others. Sometimes that will gets squished and splattered as we are taught to conform into staying between the lines of the educational system or the ecclesiastical system.

The battle is a constant tug of war, sometimes with barbed wire, as we figure out who we are and where we fit in.

For parents this is a challenge. We want our kids to be this and that and do all the things, but after a few years of push back, we realize they may not want to do this or that. So do we back down and say then go do what you want just don’t come crying to me after.

“You make your bed…you sleep in it…”

Or do we encourage free thinking and exploration while holding loving boundaries?

Even when this exploration causes great pain and turmoil?

The challenge of parenting has a lot to do with how we see ourselves. Are we capable of seeing ourselves as an emerging butterfly going through all the challenges to get through the cocoon? Or do we kick and scream the whole time?

This doesn’t mean we like it. Nor that we understand it. We just somehow know and realize that this is our lot in life and everyone’s lot is different.

So what will you do with your time of waiting? Will you be still? Waiting for the beauty, the snippets of joy? Will you hold on to your heart knowing the love for yourself and your struggling person is intact?

Can you stand in that gap of the time between light and dark–otherwise known as sunset and sunrise–knowing there will be a new day?

Can you offer hope and love to yourself for your transformation to learn as you go, to grow as you learn, and the love that comes out the other side?

Even if…..

Even if it’s not what you anticipated or remotely wanted?

What is the alternate?

The constant struggle for peace. Constant denying that there is a plan in place. Constantly thinking you know better than a God, or than your child’s innate sense of self. Constantly trying to change the course.

This isn’t about not helping, not trying to reduce harm. This isn’t about cutting off yourself from your own heart or your child’s heart. This is about what shows up. Seeing who you can help. Spreading kindness when possible. Expanding the life and love you have in your heart even if it’s hidden under years of pain and disappointment and loss.

I will try, along with you, to offer the best version of myself in this journey. 

I will still cry, pray, hope and learn all I can. I will take every opportunity that arises to find my higher self, and be my best self so that I'm not taken down to the depths of the tunnel of apathy and bitterness.

Because my life matters. My son’s life matters. Our own individual journeys matter. We are all playing out each other’s stories in the biggest Broadway play of life.

Sometimes there’s an audience, and sometimes we are desperately alone. Sometimes we roam free to discover more, sometimes we feel locked in our own prison. But wherever we are, we always have the ability to access our own strength and our own courage and our own volumes of love spilling out just waiting to be given freely.

Self-Care Day

Although I don’t have a giant round window, sparkling chandelier, or even a free-standing tub; I do have a small quiet condo in the suburbs of the city.

Believe it or not, I can sit quietly, without any devices, on a Monday morning and hear nothing but the faint sounds of life doing what life does.

Today was the perfect day for my version of self-care. I spent the morning in a chasm of swirling thoughts about my son’s life in addiction and the legal ramifications of that.

Although I have chosen to emotionally support him and be available when needed; I do encourage treatment to him almost daily. I offer massive amounts of harm reduction. I keep writing to various people in the hopes that someone will come through with an idea and the resources to carry them out.

As door after door closes; I feel incredible sadness at my inability to make any headway with my son.

My son has been living in a different world than me. A world that scares me to the core. 

He has been shot in the leg. He seen people die. He's been exposed to horrific things--both in person and on video. Things he choked up even trying to tell me.

So even though he still has his signature traits of humor, introspection, and vision; the chemicals are changing his ability to see a way out. His logical reasoning to not make his situation worse –is on a break. His risk meter has been progressively getting weaker as he seeks out further methods of survival in the streets. Even though his words say one thing, his self sabotage makes him do another. His intention to fix everything tomorrow leaves him tired and struggling tonight. 

Tomorrow brings darker people, places & things that welcome more deviant behavior to numb wounded souls. Fulfilling their human daily needs seems to be the only goal.

He seems to be stuck in this pattern of chaos and hustling. He told me on Christmas he doesn’t have time for anything else but scrambling to survive. When I mention that it doesn’t have to be that way, he looks at me like I’m from another planet. I had to constantly tell myself that “No, this world is NOT normal. It’s not normal to be around shady and sketchy people doing shady and sketchy things while living in your truck.” Yet he seems so at home in that world.

His mind seems to operate on an all or nothing mentality. He’s either calling an old friend and proposing a half million dollar business opportunity (which the friend said yes!), to returning to chaotic use, the next week after a horrible fight with a person who holds the cards for certain aspects of his experience and his roles to fulfill.

I’m convinced he is hurting deeply. He does have a few free options for treatment. They aren’t the best and honestly, the two times he has been to treatment seemed to make him worse. My belief that despite having a higher ego personality and high intelligence; he has deeper issues to explore than 30-day rehabs can address. He seems convinced that he doesn’t deserve success either in sobriety or business and relationships including being a dad.

Despite his tough skin, the things that he’s been told must affect him. Things such as: He’s a horrible person and his addiction has been the most horrible thing known to man and that him relapsing is a spit in the face to all who’ve tried to help him. In which they packed up his things & put them out in the garage, as if he had the plague.

So I can judge his lifestyle all I want. I can listen to others who mutter, “When will he ever learn?” As they shake their heads in disgust but make no attempt to ask, “How can we help him? What can we do?”

My circle gets smaller and smaller in finding those who understand our predicament. There seems to be no one else who can offer help. I’m left to do my best every day to not think and worry about more trauma.

Bottom line, is that I will not let my inability to understand his actions keep me from loving him the best way I can. I refuse to treat him harshly and with vitriol and disdain. I refuse to cut off communication until he can “learn his lesson”, or “grow up”.

Even though I understand family fatigue and “giving enough chances”; the reality of my sons life being cut short is a statistical fact, due to a diagnosis of heart failure.

The chances of me losing my son before I die propels me to keep holding on, keep hoping, and keep loving as best I know how.

I still feel deep sadness most days. Sadness for what my son has lost. I know it pains him so deeply that he can’t break free of self-sabotage. I know he hates failure more than anything except maybe his fear of repeated failure. I know his family members’ reactivity and vitriol towards him bothers him deeply, which is why he stays away and isolates.

As for me, I can only keep loving the best way I know how. Knowing it may be my last interaction with my funny, strong, talented, lost, son.

I can keep remembering that there has to be a God that loves him even more than I do. A God who knows his struggles, who knows his heart. And who still sends tiny little miracles every single day to my son and to me– Via a yummy shared meal for him, or a flash of a joyful memory for me– thank you Facebook memories.

Or maybe it’s just the realization that I have had an amazing life being the Mom to all my kids and gratefulness is truly the key to happiness.

And Love of course. Which I will continue to do. And carve time out for my own self care daily/ weekly.

So after work today, I decided to actually go get my hair cut for the first time in years.

That’s right– years! For various reasons, I have cut my hair at home. It was strange being back in the salon environment. The busyness, idle chit chat. Hair, makeup, Things that – in my mind – are so unimportant. But as I sat there, listening and actually talking to my hair dresser; I felt something stir. 

I felt a version of my old me. The me who tried so hard to stay young. Who tried to exercise. Who tried to get out in nature every chance she could. Who kept her hair colored and her skin tan. A me who just wanted to feel and look the best I possibly could as the years crept up threatening to steal my youth.

I suddenly wanted that person back. As the hair dresser handed me the mirror, and asked: “What do you think?”

I wanted to yell:

“I THINK I’VE MISSED THAT PERSON! I THINK I LOST HER ALONG THE WAY OF FIGHTING FOR LIFE. I THINK IN MY QUEST FOR PEACE, I LOST WHO I WAS. I THINK I NEED TO FIND HER AGAIN!”

“So, you like the haircut?”

She trepidly asked.

“Yes, yes, I like it. Thank you.”

Love is the most divine healer –Val Kilmer

Freedom, One Day At A Time

Just over 2 months ago, I declared my son healed. He wasn’t physically….yet, but I spoke healing over him. I had to. I was tired of spinning in circles of everything that was “wrong” with him. I was done making deals and pleas with God. I knew I had to accept him as he is, yet declare the greatness in him that seemed hidden.

He was in jail for the second time this year and the sixth overall from the last few years. I realized I was begging for the wrong things. As stated in my previous whining posts, it’s been a roller coaster ride. And not the new flashy, sexy roller coaster, but the old wooden, creaky, break-down-at-any moment roller coaster (where they would casually say: “You knew the risk” if something were to go wrong.

I was finished making deals and decided to get off the roller coaster, so I sent my first born incarcerated son this message of not only HOPE but of FAITH.

"Your potential is not measured by your surroundings at the moment, but by the quiet moments of your heart. Where you ache deeply for your family and kids. Where your shame has pushed you into places and spaces that smothered you into numbness.

Whatever it is that pushed you into those conditions you're in; whether it was a society who said you weren’t worthy of getting well; or your own spiral into self-defeat; you can come back.

Anytime, come back.

You’re needed. You’re wanted.

It might not seem like it.
We might be scared and worried at first, but it’s only because we care. We have been conditioned to fear the worst. So have you. That’s why it horrifies you to think of being that person you were before. After all – those were the days you needed to escape from. The stress and pressure of expectations and disappointment were off the charts some days.

What if you fail again?
Oh but my son, what if you don’t?
What if the last half or more of your life is filled with unbelievable joy? What if your kids and grandkids are gathered around you to hear your war stories?  Not real war, but your days of the drug war. You won’t glamorize it like alcohol is. You will tell the cold hard truth. You will tell those precious souls that evil starts small. With a thought. A nudge. A risk. A desire for something more. You will tell them not to be afraid or embarrassed to admit their concerns. If they are in over their head, it’s the right thing to do to seek help, but mostly that ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD. 

Come back.
So much love awaits you.

I knew the law had him by the nuggets, but I wanted HIM to WANT to come back to life. I wanted Him to make the decisions to recover, not just going through the motions. I wanted him to lead his own recovery so the success rate would be greater.

During his court hearing, his lawyer presented the name of the rehab he had been accepted to. The Judge started to approve his release from jail to the rehab when he slowly looked down at his notes. What followed was at least a 2 minute dead- silence tense moment in the courtroom, with all eyes on the judge as he looked from his notes to the computer. I knew my son was squirming inside but as usual, on the outside, he was cool as a cucumber. I was holding my breath wondering what the problem was.

Just 3 days before, my son almost got written up in jail for a problem with a jail razor not being turned in correctly. My son told me that it wasn’t him but he’s not a snitch so unless the other guy confesses, my son would probably be going to the hole for 24 hrs. I was thinking the judge was reviewing that and would punish him. At last, he spoke. It was a discrepancy in the number of cases. There was one missing. It was soon cleared up by the prosecution and the judge cleared my son’s release at 5 am the next morning.

My husband and I picked him up from that jail in the dark of the night, for the second time in 2 years. This time it was with hope, with the promise that this nightmare might be over. My son came out of the triple-locked electric doors with an old white shirt on and a garbage bag full of moldy clothes.

He was free. Would he run? My husband was prepared for that.

He didn’t. We proceeded on the 4-hour drive to rehab. The judge said we could only stop for an hour for a meal. Although I was concerned the judge would “find out”; we laughed about it as we stopped in to see his sister, went shopping for pants for rehab, and made the 9 am appointment for his CDL that was expiring quickly. We kept getting lost finding the rehab but finally made it by the 1 pm deadline. My son took his things, hugged me, and said. Thank you, Mom.

My husband and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Almost as big as we did 2 years ago at the Las Vegas airport when we sent him off with a total stranger.

He was free, in a way. But we were too. Free from worrying about the stark realities of jail. A place where they are just babysitting them through their time there. Addiction might as well be a wart on their toe as far as getting “treated”. Although they did take me seriously when I called medical and said he was going to hang himself. They listened to the tapes and put him in solitary.

He recovered from that mindset, Thank God.

So here we are 5 weeks into rehab. There still are no promises. I’m trying to give my son space to heal. I’m letting him learn to take care of himself. When he figures out he needs something and asks me, I make sure I get it to him, no matter what the barriers. I want him to feel how it feels to have food, a nice bed, and take vitamins again. I do this because I know that to take care of others (his kids, a job, responsibilities); he has to relearn how to take care of himself.

It takes so much patience. From the addicted one AND from all involved. I feel a bit sorry for those who aren’t involved. Oh, I know it’s easier to wash your hands of something. It’s easier to push all the work onto someone else to fix what actually takes both parties to fix. It’s so much easier to say, “call me when you’re sober”. Or even disown someone. If there’s a threat of violence or abuse, I can totally understand. But to fellow humans, family, even; it still saddens my heart that they miss out on the process of change:

  • #1 The service given to a struggling human.
  • #2 The joy of watching them change day by day, week by week.
  • #3 To hear their thoughts and dreams of better days ahead.

It’s disheartening to hear:

“He’s still the same, and until he’s back to the person I want him to be, then he’s not deserving of my time.”

Maybe not in those words but it’s implied. As for me, I choose to take the good with the bad. I choose to aid in any way recovery-minded. Yup, I choose to bring him a basketball at night, when he wants to play basketball. 

Because recovery is an entire mind-body and soul transformation. It's using muscles they haven't used in a while. It's feeling feelings they haven't felt. It's them leaving behind all the coping skills that they've honed in on for months and years (however illegal they were), and convincing them there's a better way- But mostly giving them the space to find it.

He went into rehab with a bullet hole in his leg, I’m hoping he will come out with lead-strong strength and conviction in his healing. And I’m forever grateful that I get to witness it.

Habits & Healing

While spending some time with my grand kids this weekend, the two eldest, 9 and 10; were playing in the sand on top of a mountain no less! (we live in an amazing place). As they were raking it and molding it, they kept saying “This is so satisfying!”

Our life is comprised of thousands of daily habits which we do without even thinking about them.  It’s these daily habits that determine where we end up- sometimes without us even knowing it. These ingrained daily habits keep us feeling safe and secure and somewhat connected or grounded in order to battle the things outside which we can’t control.

Being so ‘human’ requires us to constantly reach for a state of well-being that feels good to us in order to achieve that safety.  It is sometimes difficult to get out of the negative patterns that we developed just to feel ok.

There are many programs or rituals that keep us in sync to being in our healthiest state. Mel Robbins became famous with the 5 seconds in the morning routine seen here in my previous post.

I recently received this email from her that goes along the same concept as Tacos!

“Life Hack I’m Using 

Here’s a super cool life hack backed by science that will help you make your new habits stick — and it involves TACOS 🌮! Yes, you read that right. Forget willpower and pass the guacamole. To make a new habit stick you need a reward. 

Here’s why this works…every habit has three parts: a trigger, the pattern you repeat, and a reward. The reward is the MOST important part of changing a habit.

My reward for exercising is a breakfast taco. Once you have the reward in place, here’s the freaky part: Your brain won’t even think about what you need to do (exercise), instead tacos will just pop into your head randomly. 

Here’s how I’ve been using this hack: when the alarm rings at 5:30am (trigger “it’s time to exercise”) — tacos immediately pop into my mind. When I head to the gym to work out (new habit) — tacos.

When I am dripping in sweat and hyperventilating during squats (new habit) — my mind is all about the tacos. And when class is over, I walk down the block and get that reward — a King David Taco. BOOM 💥 the exercise habit is locked and loaded. 

Pick a reward and give it a try. Tag me on social when you do. It’s weird how well it works”.- Mel Robbins

Dr Judson Brewer has a seemingly simple solution to breaking a habit in this Ted Talk. He says it’s all about triggers and rewards:

“Seeing what we get from our habits helps us understand them at a deeper level — to know it in our bones so we don’t have to force ourselves to hold back or restrain ourselves from behavior. We’re just less interested in doing it in the first place.“

As we move past the daily mundane habits and onto more fulfilling things.  Think of the benefits and satisfaction of cleaning out your fridge, or going to the car wash.

The feeling that ‘s͙o͙m͙e͙t͙h͙i͙n͙g͙ i͙s͙ g͙e͙t͙t͙i͙n͙g͙ d͙o͙n͙e͙ a͙n͙d͙
y͙o͙u͙ a͙r͙e͙ a͙c͙t͙u͙a͙l͙l͙y͙ b͙e͙i͙n͙g͙ p͙r͙o͙d͙u͙c͙t͙i͙v͙e͙’ is so rewarding- temporarily. Until we need something else to fulfill us.

It’s all part of purpose, motivation and the reward system of the midbrain as shown here:

The reward pathway (deep orange) is activated when a
person receives positive reinforcement for certain behaviors (“reward”). This area is hijacked with massive amounts of dopamine when a person takes an addictive drug.

Setting new habits requires discipline and persistence. Therapist aide has a Worksheet to help achieve that. It basically follows the taco imagery from Mel:

  • Start with small changes.
  • Tie habits to other activities.
  • Celebrate your successes.

Healing & Cleansing

If you want to go a little deeper than tacos and perhaps clear your brain body first then add tacos, here’s a great exercise from my friend Mirna Trpkova.

“The techniques for Cleansing the Energy around the Physical Mind (Body) is to this day the most Powerful Self-Perseverance Method existing. Intuitively, we all know where the Stuck (Blocked) Energy in our Body is.

A simple scan/check-in via standing or lying flat on the floor will do it.

Giving one’s Conscious Mind attention to the place in our Body which needs it most is the First and most important Move.

Not much needs be done afterwards if one wishes to proceed Passive.

What can be done, though, is borrowing from the rest of our body, and giving unconditional support to the spot which needs it most.

Doesn’t this sound {like} the Analogy of the more Blessed giving to the more Unfortunate thus balancing out the scale of the Yin and the Yang… Not that we are to easily tell which one is the Blessed and which to be the Unfortunate one(!).

Much of life’s fulfilment lies within the Struggle. Until one gets addicted to it.

Not an easy Addiction to let go of.

Perhaps the hardest one of all.

Going back to the initial thought which should help tie it all in a knot…

Registering the Blocked Energetic Points in our Physical Body (Mind) will allow us to have more Free-Flow Creativity which is vital for giving one’s purpose to be awaken each and every day.

And, to overcome addictions such as “living a Struggle” and feeling “Unworthy” in order to tune in to Life’s Genuine and Beyond Good and Evil ways of balancing that sacred scale we all stand on…”- Mirna Trpkova

Ah, the old “upper limit theory” from Gay Hendricks. I love that stuff. Thinking (unconsciously) that we belong in a certain situation because we don’t deserve anything better.

Matt Licata has an excellent video on how to cope when life didn’t quite go as planned as far as Health, relationships, and career. He explains how healing from these traumas will push you toward better things. If that video doesn’t work you may need to enter your email address here.

The important thing is that we are constantly refreshing and cleansing out all areas of our life, like shaking our rugs out at home. This process of cleaning and creating space is so important if we want to receive inspiration and ideas to move forward in our lives.

My Son is Healed

He Just Doesn’t Know It Yet

Normally on days like this, I have many triggers regarding my son and ripple effect his addiction has caused in changing the dynamics of our family.

But today is different.

Today, I choose faith. Not HOPE, but pure faith. I’m not dissing hope. I’ve relied on it for months, year’s even. There’s nothing wrong with hope. Hope that things will get better, is what keeps people from sinking into an abyss of depression at times.

I’m going to get very vulnerable here. When or ‘because‘ hope hasn’t seemed to give me relief lately; I’ve been begging and bargaining with God to take my life in exchange for my son’s complete recovery AND my family to be healed especially for my son’s relationship with his kids to be healed.

(I know, I’m always trying to squeeze in an extra wish, but I figured I could get a 3 for 1 since they are all inter-related)

I also know this sounds very extreme. Before you suggest I go to a meeting and do self- care, thank you for the suggestion. It is what it is, I come to this place with much love and clarity have done a lot of self work. I’m not very well versed spiritually, or even strong in my faith but I believe in asking for help.

So, today I asked a prophetic dreams group that’s run by a lady I met; what prayers I should be chanting to facilitate my desire to fruition.

If this STILL sounds too weirded out, sorry. Desperate times call for desperate measures. My son is in jail on for his longest time ever- 6 weeks. As stated in my previous whining posts, its been a roller coaster ride. And not the new flashy, sexy roller coaster, but the old wooden, creaky, break-down-at-any moment roller coaster (where they would casually say: “You knew the risk” if you were to get hurt).

So putting my question to a group of potentially spiritually-in-tune people was a desperate measure also. The answers I received, however, changed my perspective. This is a summation of what they said: 

STOP trying to make deals with GOD! STOP immediately because deals are only made with the devil.
God ONLY wants Love & faith from you that he already sent his son to die for all our sins.

You can’t pay or bargain with God!

If you ask for healing you have to believe you have it, whether you see it yet or not, that’s the true test, do not confess what “is wrong with them” instead speak that they are healed.

Thank God that they are healed by his stripes, that he bore their sickness, thank him OUT LOUD for each promise, it could take a few months or sooner but stick with it everyday, do not let other people confess so called diagnosis over your loved ones in distress, either.

I start now.

I start calling my son into healing. I’m through letting him slide back into an excuse to blame the devil or some other entity. Evil can be fought. And if he can’t see it or say it, I will be his voice. He still has to be the one to do the work and to first DECIDE to do the work. So through the jail message system I sent my first born incarcerated son this message of not only HOPE but of FAITH.

Happy Fathers Day Son. You WILL be an influence on your kids' lives again. They WILL love you again. There will be no confusion or shame because you will teach them about things that take dads & moms away.

These 3 years do NOT take away all you have done before then. Don't believe the shame mongerers. You have just been trying to survive yourself & in that regard you did amazing! You were an excellent provider & u were a loving fun dad. You can be again. 3 yrs is nothing out of a 60-70 year life. 

You are loved. 

I love you son, and soon, when you see the understanding in your little kids' eyes & feel their forgiveness, it will ALL be worth it. 
Enjoy your day the best you can.

HḀṖṖẏ ḟḀṮḧḕṙṠ ḊḀẏ

To those fathers everywhere who are the wonderful hallmark version, to those who are stuck in their own struggle of survival and pain- and all those in between.

You are seen, heard and loved.

Your potential is not measured by your surroundings in the moment, but by the quiet moments of your heart. Where you ache deeply for your family and kids. Where your shame has pushed you into places and spaces that smothered you into numbness.

Whatever it is that pushed you into isolation, whether it was a society who said you wasn’t worthy of being amongst them; or your own spiral into self- defeat; you can come back.

Anytime, come back.

You’re needed. You’re wanted.

It might not seem like it.
We might be scared and worried at first, but it’s only because we care. We have been conditioned to fear the worst. So have you. That’s why it horrifies you to think of being that person you were before. After all – those were the days you needed to escape from. The stress and pressure of expectations and disappointment were off the charts some days.

What if you fail again?
Oh but my son, what if you don’t?
What if the last half or more of your life is filled with unbelievable joy? What if your kids and grandkids are gathered around you to hear your war stories? Not real war, but your days of the drug war. You won’t glamorize it, like alcohol is. You will tell the cold hard truth. You will tell those precious souls that evil starts small. With a thought. A nudge. A risk. A desire for something more. You will tell them not to be afraid or embarrassed to admit their concerns. If they are in over their head, it’s the right thing to do to seek help.

Come back.
So much love awaits you.
-© Samantha Waters

Sometimes society isolates people who are in pain into good old fashioned shame. We’re interconnected for a reason, we need one another and a perspective outside of our own in order to see the limitations of our own.-James Robertson

Healing Much

Hɛǟʟɨռɢ ǟռɖ ƈʟɛǟռsɨռɢ

Think of the benefits and satisfaction of cleaning out your fridge, or going to the car wash.

The feeling that ‘s͙o͙m͙e͙t͙h͙i͙n͙g͙ i͙s͙ g͙e͙t͙t͙i͙n͙g͙ d͙o͙n͙e͙ a͙n͙d͙
y͙o͙u͙ a͙r͙e͙ a͙c͙t͙u͙a͙l͙l͙y͙ b͙e͙i͙n͙g͙ p͙r͙o͙d͙u͙c͙t͙i͙v͙e͙’ is so rewarding- temporarily. Until we need something else to fulfill us.

It’s all part of purpose, motivation and the reward system of the midbrain as shown here

The reward pathway (deep orange) is activated when a
person receives positive reinforcement for certain behaviors (“reward”). This area is hijacked with massive amounts of dopamine when a person takes an addictive drug.

If you want to go a bit deep here’s a great exercise from my friend Mirna Trpkova.

“The techniques for Cleansing the Energy around the Physical Mind (Body) is to this day the most Powerful Self-Perseverance Method existing. Intuitively, we all know where the Stuck (Blocked) Energy in our Body is.

A simple scan/check-in via standing or lying flat on the floor will do it.

Giving one’s Conscious Mind attention to the place in our Body which needs it most is the First and most important Move.

Not much needs be done afterwards if one wishes to proceed Passive.

What can be done, though, is borrowing from the rest of our body, and giving unconditional support to the spot which needs it most.

Doesn’t this sound as the Analogy of the more Blessed giving to the more Unfortunate thus balancing out the scale of the Yin and the Yang… Not that we are to easily tell which one is the Blessed and which to be the Unfortunate one(!).

Much of life’s fulfilment lies within the Struggle. Until one gets addicted to it.

Not an easy Addiction to let go of.

Perhaps the hardest one of all.

Going back to the initial thought which should help tie it all in a knot…

Registering the Blocked Energetic Points in our Physical Body (Mind) will allow us to have more Free-Flow Creativity which is vital for giving one’s purpose to be awaken each and every day.

And, to overcome addictions such as “living a Struggle” and feeling “Unworthy” in order to tune in to Life’s Genuine and Beyond Good and Evil ways of balancing that sacred scale we all stand on…”- Mirna Trpkova

Ah, the old “upper limit theory” from Gay Hendricks. I love that stuff. Thinking (unconsciously) that we belong in a certain situation because we don’t deserve anything better.

Matt Licata has an excellent video on how to cope when life didn’t quite go as planned as far as Health, relationships, and career. He explains how healing from these traumas will push you toward better things. If that video doesn’t work you may need to enter your email address here.