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A Day in the life of the Mom of anAddict

Matters What? What Matters? And other Thanksgiving thoughts

ᗰᗩTTEᖇS.. ᗯᕼᗩT

As I drove on the interstate to work today, I saw the flashing billboard with the following words:

If they don’t live with you, zoom for Thanksgiving

I felt my eyes stinging with tears.

What about a second option?

What about the family members who you haven’t seen for 6 months? What about your first born son who was the hero & leader of the family who’s now lost in the world of addiction?

In fact, that son may not even be alive today. I haven’t talked to him in 2 days & at that time he was so scared that he would be picked up again for supporting his habit, that he just wanted to run away. 😥

Yes, that one habit that ‘other people’ say- “if he really wanted to quit he could.” True of anything right? If I really wanted to be svelte & toned and dare I say ‘skinny’; I could just do it right?

We all know it’s just not that easy. Not impossible, just not as simple as it sounds.

It’s kindof strange that my son is scared of getting caught doing what his brain tells him he MUST DO! Imagine a smoker getting arrested for buying ciggerettes…..

Imagine the daily guilt and shame and sneaking and lying just to get a drink of water to us…. A needed glass of water….

Not the same? Read my article on cravings found Here. It’s a pretty simple explanation as to what an addict goes through.

Anyway, back to water and ciggerettes and me being skinny. They’re all cravings & desires aren’t they?

OF course, that’s a Matter OF OPINION. As is EVERYTHING these days.

Opinions don’t equal facts. No matter how you spin it because today’s facts can be twisted.

I dread Thanksgiving & Christmas this year. Not because of Covid, but because of my fractured family. Disappointmeant, unspoken & spoken expectations. My inability to fix everyone’s concerns. My inability to move mountains to create stronger bonds…..

My son, 4 hours away, whom I can’t zoom with on Thanksgiving, even if I wanted to see his 100 lb weight loss ravaged body- because he has isolated himself away from his family and his life as he knew it for 32 years.

“Just QUIT!!!!”

I want to scream! There’s help available! You have 2 little kids who need to know their daddy loves them!!!

But with addiction it’s just not that easy. Their brain is hijacked into believing whatever the drug tells them. It’s always just one more time. It’s always not that bad. It’s always you have all the time in the world.

Meanwhile, 1 year turns into 2, and soon we will be heading into year 3 of this nightmare.

Before that, this son had built his dream business from nothing. Along with his brothers and dad.

High school drop-out, but
Worked his butt off from age 16 to 32. Nights, weekends- 70 hrs a week or more.  
Married, 2 precious kids. Built a beautiful hand crafted home in a red rock mecca paradise.


Brought his brothers and Dad along with him. They were unstoppable. 
Custom & commercial cement. Powerline fabrication,an excavating business & a freaking business for awhile.


In 2015 he did $500,000 in labor alone with zero investors which is unheard of in this business..
His closest competitors were multimillionaire companies…
His Gross revenue in 2014 was 70k.  He set a goal to double it…
He reached 1 million the next year..set aset a goal to double it..reached 3,million in 2017..

And then the opiod crisis hit him.

The last year he has lost everything.

I wrote THIS article as we were preparing for his intervention and first rehab. I was so angry at the political climate THEN! The waste of money spent, when my family & many others were DYING !!

Politics aside though….

Haaa!

Although it seems impossible these days to avoid a political conversation and/or have respect for someone who supports a certain group or cause; it can be done!

Groups, meetings, friends  and families CAN get along without spurring a argument, IF they can focus on what they DO agree on.

It takes effort for sure.

But if we can find common ground and unite together in a cause where we can actually make a difference, I think we can help the downtrodden, the mentally ill, the families and lives thrown into addiction.

To Save a To Save a Life – by The Frey….. One of my favorite songs of all time………

I just hope and pray every day that my son’s life is saved…by the grace of God or anything for that matter. I’ll take anything…….😭

A͎ D͎a͎y͎ i͎n͎ t͎h͎e͎ L͎i͎f͎e͎ o͎f͎ t͎h͎e͎ M͎o͎t͎h͎e͎r͎ o͎f͎ a͎n͎ A͎d͎d͎i͎c͎t͎

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Home Base

Why Can’t we Respect Differing Opinions?

It’s sad that we think we can only like or be friends with people who believe what we do.

It’s strange to think that the old debate rules we learned in High School are nonexistent anymore.  Yet history has shown us that it’s easier to divide and conquer if we want a certain policy passed or a way of life to be accepted.

Theres a video called hidden agendas (which btw won’t load-but it was originally on Amazon prime), is classified as  conspiracy theory, and is now unavailable with all the censoring. This only furthers the narrative to make us believe we should only watch ‘accepted’ media.

It’s sad that we’ve been taught that it’s ok to treat the elderly, or the cops, or someone of either party with such malice & hate in order to prove a point.

No matter who we think is right or who may have taught us these things, it’s unfortunate that we ourselves ‘are led to’ believe it to be true…..

Just like Netflix’s latest Social Dilemma shows, we CAN be swayed to believe things. Including that it’s OK to be so drastically divided and shame those who think differently.

Calling someone out on their behavior is different than shaming someone for their beliefs.

It’s sad that all sides of a story can’t be heard by all sources so that WE can decide for ourselves.

It’s sad that we can’t be trusted enough to decide for ourselves what’s true.

I’m especially saddened that one issue can tear apart families to the point of not being able to converse or strengthen family bonds.

You don’t have to believe in a God to believe in an evil force.

I truly believe that the devil is winning by using whatever device, tool, people, addiction or argument that it can muster up to cause such unrest & fear & anger in so many.

We can make a difference by doing our part & starting with what’s right in front of us.

Remember when we joined the big anti- bullying push in schools?  Yet nowadays, online, we feel justified to bully someone into compliance with what WE think. Is BEST for THEM. A complete stranger.

What are our kids learning?

People, ALL people, just want to be loved & respected…. The way they go about it is just different…

Some act out for attention. Some destroy things to feel empowered. Some deflect and cover up with substances or other addictive behaviors.

However, someone chooses to be heard and understand, I don’t think the answer is “raise voices through violence.”

It breaks my heart to see videos against innocent people such as the elderly these past few weekswith people cheering the attackers on saying “that’s go time”. Watch Here. Sad. Pray for peace. 

We ALWAYS Have a CHOICE what our next move will be

This will be the last time I share these hate filled videos, so not too give power to anyones “cause.” I sincerely hope that these viscous attacks fail to provide the wanted results. 🍀🤞🍀🤞🍀🤞

Pray for peace. Let it start with us