fall – Samantha Waters

So many people love the fall season. I am not one of them, but I can appreciate the concept of it. Cooling off, tightening down the hatches, storing some nuts for winter 😆. The feeling of having a bit of relief from the heat. Having a well-needed break to brace for the holiday season. Soon the rush of Halloween will turn to the frantic decisions of Thanksgiving; who to invite or where to go; what to make and how soon to start shopping and when to start cooking.

To me, fall is that in-limbo place between the scorching rays of the summer sun and prying the frozen windshield wipers off the glass. It’s a hint of what’s to come. I can’t seem to just enjoy it for what it is. A beautiful season all its own of warm earth-tone colors, fragrances of deep pumpkin, sandalwood, walnut, and cinnamon. It’s where the green leaves turn into blackened wet objects that stick to the almost frozen ground. Soon the darkness will creep in earlier and earlier until one day we notice that we are arriving home at dark.

It’s on those nights that we crave a cozy fireplace. On it sits an overpriced apple cider scented candle flickering in the breeze of the heat. A peanut butter sandwich with grape jelly is on the menu with a tall glass of cold milk. We sit down to a ceramic mug with steaming lemongrass tea. Finally reading that book found at a yard sale.

“Why is summer mist romantic and autumn mist just sad?” — Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

Despite all that, I feel bad that I don’t love fall like so many others do. One reason is the condition of S.A.D. seasonal effective disorder, which I have, along with 3 milion Americans. The New York Times explains it this way:

Unlike mild cases of the “winter blues,” SAD symptoms make it difficult to function. It tends to start with so-called “vegetative symptoms”: an increased appetite and a craving for carbohydrates like french fries or ice cream, the urge to sleep longer hours, difficulty getting up in the morning and feeling wiped out at work.

There’s normal winter blues which are from a lack of vitamin D and there’s sad. Very well mind differentiates between the two.

Actually not much distinction. But back to my imaginary fireplace. The crackling embers are perfectly timed to some unknown rhythm of fire songs. My tea is delicious. The touch of honey melts into the warm water with the exact amount of sweetness. This is when I imagine being a trust fund baby and never having to leave my house……. I would be sitting on a white satin chaise with colorful overstuffed pillows staring out at my endless pool on my deck. then I remember my previous post about being grateful for what I have and I return to the moment. The moment of peace. Since I have green eyes, I love this quote by Toni Morrison.

There was a hint of spring in her sole green eyes, something summery in her complexion, and a rich autumn ripeness in her walk- Toni Morrison

I could do a summery complexion and a rich autumn ripeness to my walk! I can! I will end with my prayer to Fall.

Hello Fall, welcome to my world. Please treat me with gentleness as I am not a front-row groupie. Please envelope me with all the good things you have to offer. Make me a believer out of you! I want to love you! It’s been a long year and I NEED you to cushion me on your piles of leaves and rich sunsets. I need to feel the completeness of your season without the dreading of your companion- old man winter. I want to enjoy you all by yourself for what beauty you alone have to offer. Thank you Fall🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂