A Patch in The Grass

I bought this piece of grass specifically for my little Chihuahua to “go” outside on.

When I bought it, it didn’t ‘appear’ to have a dead spot.

I noticed another stack of sod had the dead spot. Obviously, they had a disease or some sort of malfunction in the seed or its development. But there were a few stacked up that didn’t. They “looked” normal, healthy. I picked from those. I thought I was good as gold.

My grass will never turn brown, It’s from a different breed. I’ll water it every day and give it sunshine & rake the weeds out. All the things.”

This picture is one month later. The spot appeared almost immediately. In panic, I tried everything: Dragging my hose through my house to water it (small condo living); sprinkled it with love and fertilizer and even coffee grounds! It persisted in it’s trajectory of showing up different.

I thought about that green grass and my babies. We “get” them as they are green and cute and innocent with no signs of trouble ahead. Even though we don’t have a “keep the sod green instruction manual”, we’ll be fine right? As long as we provide everything for their growth, we are bound to see the results we expect right?

When those first patches of brown appear, such as with substance abuse; we may panic a little. But our inner calming spirit tells us we are overthinking it because of the thousands of thoughts we’ve had before that turned out to be nothing. Someone may have told us we were being paranoid.

Of course. Why would MY child do THAT? They didn’t grow up in a brown patch sort of house. They wasn’t abused or given alcohol. Their every move wasn’t controlled, pushing their little independent spirits & feelings deep down inside them, haunting them until later, when their demons came out in full force.


They were free-loving country adventure-after-adventure kind of kids. How could this be a problem? How could there be a dark brown spot lurking there just awaiting the right set of circumstances to show its true ‘colors’.

Well, it did. Whether it was there all along or developed as a result of intense stress that life throws at an already vulnerable base.- it was here to show just how ugly it can be.

What to do, what to do…..

Yell at it? Berate it? Lock it up with a little chain link fence around it telling it to be like the other strong green blades of grass around it or ELSE?

That should do it. That should scare it into compliance.

After all, no one should DARE to turn brown in this war on drugs. As people look upon them with disgust and tell them they only get one or two or three chances and THAT’S it! Narcan? Pfewwww. You better learn the first time dude, or we will just watch you die – that will send a STRONG message to other vulnerable and lost people not to cross the line of when it’s socially acceptable to take something for the pain or emotional discomfort but not get addicted.

Everyone knows where that line is, right?

Maybe I’ll just try to love it.

Maybe I’ll just accept it where it is but not leave it there.

Yesterday, the otherwise green child of mine called from jail. He is in his Brown patch of life. His brain is riddled with confused fiery darts of hell telling him to get back out there and continue this gig just a little longer. But my boy is still there. He thanked me for answering. He said thank you for never giving up on me. He said:

“Please don’t ever give up on me- you don’t know what it feels like to have someone on the outside rooting for you.”

No he didn’t want anything. He had one 2 minute call in 4 days, he could have used it for requests or rudeness while his brain is mucked up with confusion. Instead he used it to thank me and my husband for not giving up on him.

That brown patch is begging for acceptance. It knows deep down that it’s not who it truly is. It knows it’s destined for greater things. It just can’t see the forest for the “dead trees”. It’s like honey I shrunk the kids and he’s in the center of that brown spot not able to see the solution.

I can help with that view.

I can stand in the gap between a future life of joy and his present life of turmoil and strife.

I can lead the way. Just like when he was a baby and scared to stand up and walk across the room to the couch. What if he fell? I can encourage him that’s it’s worth the risk.

"GET UP!! You CAN DO it!! You will never look back if you master this. 

Just walk to me son. ❣💙❣


Do you ever wonder why you are going through a certain situation, and think “Why me?” Or “What did I do to deserve this?”

I think we all have when going through challenging times.

What if, we took a moment to pause and breathe. What if we explore the idea that maybe you really are chosen for this! Maybe it’s exactly what you and HE decided was needed for your growth and ‘character development’ on earth. If you don’t believe in a pre-mortal existence and still think you might be being punished, I ask you in true Dr Phil style, “How’s that working for you? Is it helpful? Maybe, we were the only ones who volunteered. Maybe we were the only gutsy ones who dared take it on…

You are being the example to someone else who’s watching how you handle these stressful times. I’m not saying to hide your feelings in denial and suffer in silence. I’m saying to be real, be you, be raw. Those who can’t handle it – won’t. Those who will be moved by your real-ness, your authenticity, and your ability to move…. Through the pain…will be inspiring.

Keep searching, seeking. Keep finding the light, the good things that rise from the darkness. Here’s a few articles that came to me literally as I was thinking about this post.

Allyson Rowe Shaffer via fb.

“Don’t feel sorry for or fear for your kids because the world they are going to grow up in is not what it used to be.

God created them and called them for the exact moment in time that they’re in. Their life wasn’t a coincidence or an accident.

Raise them up to know the power they walk in as children of God.
Train them up in the authority of His Word.
Teach them to walk in faith knowing that God is in control.
Empower them to know they can change the world.
Don’t teach them to be fearful and disheartened by the state of the world but hopeful that they can do something about it.

Every person in all of history has been placed in the time that they were in because of God’s sovereign plan.
He knew Daniel could handle the lions den.
He knew David could handle Goliath.
He knew Esther could handle Haman.
He knew Peter could handle persecution.
He knows that your child can handle whatever challenge they face in their life. He created them specifically for it!

Don’t be scared for your children, but be honored that God chose YOU to parent the generation that is facing the biggest challenges of our lifetime.
Rise up to the challenge.
Raise Daniels, Davids, Esthers and Peters!

God isn’t scratching His head wondering what He’s going to do with this mess of a world.
He has an army He’s raising up to drive back the darkness and make Him known all over the earth.

Don’t let your fear steal the greatness God placed in them. I know it’s hard to imagine them as anything besides our sweet little babies, and we just want to protect them from anything that could ever be hard on them, but they were born for such a time as this.” -Alex Cravens

📷 : Michel Maza

“ I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time, so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck again, from time to time, so that you will be conscious of the roll of chance in life, and understand that your success is not completely deserved, and the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you will be ignored, so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion.”

Chief Justice John Roberts sons 9th grade graduation 2017

Ordinary on Purpose
From Ordinary on purpose facebook post

The Key To Teens Is...Let Them Struggle


The Key To Teens Is…Let Them Struggle


Hey moms??


It’s OKAY for our kids to struggle sometimes.

Or feel bored or sad or lonely or hurt.

And it’s okay if they are left out at school or don’t make the grade or aren’t the best on the team.

Because I’m guessing one day when our kids grow up, they’ll have moments when they struggle.

Or fall.

Or fail.

There will come a day when they won’t land the job. Or they can’t get the date. Or they’ll be faced with one of life’s true tragedies.

We can be certain one day our kids will have their fair share of pain because life is FULL of pain, isn’t it??

No one is immune.

So, if we prevent every fall NOW…

If we cushion every blow NOW…

If we arrange all the pieces just so NOW…

Won’t our kids be shocked one day by life’s inevitable pain???

And I know, I KNOW it hurts.

As moms we want nothing more than to see our kids succeed and be happy. We long for our babies to achieve their dreams and find their purpose. And it feels like when they fall or fail…WE have failed.

But that simply isn’t true.

Because really???

When we allow our kids to struggle sometimes, we are giving them a gift…

The gift of RESILIENCE.

We cheer for them. We provide all the tools. We give support and offer help. We keep them safe. We pray for them. We hold them when they fall.


But we can’t fix up a Perfect Little Life for them.

We HAVE to let them struggle. And allow them to find their own way through.

So rather than perfect top-of-the-class kids…

Or superstar best-on-the-team kids…

Or popular always-fit-in kids…

Or never faltered-or-failed kids…

Let’s strive to raise RESILIENT kids!!

Kids who know exactly what to do when life shoves them to the ground.

Kids who aren’t afraid to try…and fail.

Kids who understand no matter what happens, they’ve got what it takes to stand back up and try again.

And kids who KNOW their mom is cheering for them every step of the way!

Come on moms!!!

LET’S RAISE RESILIENT KIDS!#ordinaryonpurpose#raisingteens#teenageboys#thisisraisingteens#letthemstruggle#letthemgrow#thegiftoffailure#resilientkids#raisingresilientkids#talesofthemoment#thesemomentsmatter#ilovewatchingthemgrow#myordinarylife#lifehappensintheordinary#ordinaryonpurposeblogMikala Albertson-OwnerLeave a comment


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4 Minutes of Calmness

I had such a RaDICaL breakthrough today that I had to share.

Yesterday I had a coworker spend an hour telling me how wrong I was & how I needed to do something better… for HER & how irrational I was & why her way was right.

I remained calm trying to approach the problem from several different angles.

Until finally, she blurted out:

“Well, I’ve already talked to the boss & he wants it done this way……”

I went home feeling completely undermined, sideswiped-whatever you want to call it.

I was determined to go to the boss armed with data to show how she was just being a bully in order to be right and how if only he had my opinion, then he would surely side with me.

Then, I listened to this 4 minutes of calmness from my favorite (and only) spiritual guru- Matt Kahn.

This guy doesn’t resonate with everyone, but he’s my ‘thing’ that saved my heart a few years ago after a breakup of 3 years. Ever since, he has helped me dig deeper to find out who I am and who I want to be.

“This is HOW PEOPLE GIVE US BACK our POWER- by disappointing the HELL outta us….”

-Matt Kahn

Think about it. If life is going my way, I can love myself just fine, but the minute adversity hits me in the gut, I’m going to walk around blaming someone else. THEY are going to pay for my inconvenience, my pain and suffering.

I’m ready and willing to blame anyone but myself- for triggering me. I mean, I was just here minding my own business! I didn’t start it! (Like a 5-year-old would say).

As I chose to ruminate on it; I started thinking, “I’ll just quit. I can’t stand her anyway”.

Then a voice said:

“ᗷᑌT TᕼEᖇE’S OTᕼEᖇS ᒪIKE ᕼEᖇ EᐯEᖇYᗯᕼEᖇE….”

In my past relationships, if a guy isn’t doing what I think he should be saying or doing, what do I do? Speak my peace or speak my piece? What happens if I do the latter? Collusion. He’s not going to change. I will keep attracting men who will collude with my ideas until I make peace with myself.

Another variant to this is:

If we aren’t giving ourselves the acceptance & love we need, we are more likely to seek out drugs or sex or power or people who trigger us- (Which will ALWAYS disappoint us again & again).

These experiences are for our benefit, in order to bring us back to ourselves.

If we never experience disappointment, sorrow and loss; then we never get the opportunity to grow into a better version of ourselves.

It’s so simple.

I never fully caught on to the love yourself movement until I heard this from Matt Kahn.

Adversity doesn’t stop when we move to a different place or switch partners or jobs. Things will still smack us right dab in the face until we become aligned enough. Alligned with ourselves or with the universe or our God or Higher Power.

This helps us essentially become bulletproof to letting these traumas and dramas knock us around so much.

Some may call it the Armour of God. Others may say Self-confidence, Self- worth.

Take a listen.

Minute 17:30-21:30