Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you’d have. It’s about understanding he is exactly she person he’s supposed to be. And if you’re lucky he might be the teacher who turns you into the person you’re supposed to-be.” – The Water Giver

Motherhood has its ups and downs for sure. Those of us who wonder if we did the right things in equipping our children with the strength, courage and character to “make it” in the world, should feel comfortable that we did what we could with what we had.

Age, genes, and life experience matter. A 20 year mother isn’t going to have the life wisdom of a 30 year old mother but age doesn’t necessarily give maternal instinct either. Some people have it and some don’t yet and may never.

At the same time, well educated parents don’t necessarily produce the “best” kids either. 

Then you have the discussion is what is a “good” kid. Because I’ve seen enough performative kids and adults behave well for years and climb the ladder in church or career only to fall and fall big. Not just lose their job big but go crazy and/or commit crimes big. Was it a midlife crisis or did they finally crack from the weight of always living for someone else?

• As a parent, it’s easy to feel ineffective when you or your kids have suffered big losses.

In retrospection of my life, I’ve found that going down those negative thought spirals does nothing for my self worth or my mental health and quality of life.

What DOES help my mental health is appreciating what I have and giving myself tons of self compassion. This means giving myself the love and appreciation that I crave and need from others but most likely will feel disappointment of it doesn’t come.

Finishing my book of the story of raising my kids was therapeutic for myself but also swings open the door for criticism and acceptance.

Will it be relatable? Is it too long? Is it to subject specific? (Drug use). Only time will tell.

Meanwhile I continue to try to not be dependent on others’ opinion or at least be appreciative of it but then let it go.

Here’s the link to my book if you would like to read more or support me in my efforts.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1958533262

I would love a review on Amazon. You don’t even have to buy the book, just read the sample and give me stars!

💐Happy Mothers Day 2025💐