Tag: Brene Brown

Leaning In

Check out my latest post LEANING IN- a blast from my past.

Here’s an excerpt:

We’ve often heard the term LEANING IN as way to listen to hear and not to respond.

In Andy Goldsworthy’s film “Leaning In”, he sees it as one of two ways- You can either walk on the path or go through the hedge.
Trailer to leaning in

Throughout my life, I’ve always seemed to pick going through the hedge and the “most difficult” path, but it certainly has been the most adventurous.

On a family camping trip many years ago, we were going down a mountain path on the million dollar highway in Colorado. We were in a 25 foot motorhome we had rented for this adventure. I had 5 little kids in that tin box. As we headed down the steep, windy roads, my fears and imagination took a new level. I have always been afraid of heights and being on the passenger side seeing the edge and the seemingly endless bottom of the mountain, the thought of my precious cargo spiraling down the edge of that rocky cliff sent me into a panic.

I actually started yelling- half crying: “LEAN!!! Lean kids-towards the mountain!!!”

That was back in the days of not-as-strict seat belt use and I thought our 7 bodies leaning towards the driver side would stop our spiraling life in that moment!

Apparently, it worked. We survived! But for years, my kids never failed to tease me at every opportunity to LEAN! LEAN Towards the mountain! That day we stayed safe on the path. I leaned into (away from?) my fears, I suppose.

Brene Brown told Oprah many years ago, what I have now come to realize is true in regards to dealing with our emotions:

It’s he or she who’s willing to be the most uncomfortable can rise strong,” Brené says. “Discomfort: the way home.”It may be more tempting to lean away from discomfort with “a glass of red wine, or six,” Brené jokes, but leaning in is far more powerful.
Brene Brown-leaning into discomfort


Think about it, those who seem to have an “easy life” tend to be the ones who can handle far less. I’m not faulting them, everyone has a deck of cards they are dealt and they play them the best they can. For those born into wealthy and/or healthy families, I commend you.

I once had a co-worker who figured out that we both knew a mutual acquaintance. She proceeded to tell me what a wonderful human this person was and I wholeheartedly agreed. In my mind, though, I was thinking, “she’s had a cushy, easy life with a lot of supportive and wonderful family around, why wouldn’t she be?” Of course, I have since learned that appearances are misleading and we NEVER know what obstacles a person goes through personally, NO MATTER what they post on social media.

“A hard life builds character” the old-timers used to say. So then, if being uncomfortable (or doing hard things) is a way to work through our emotions, how do we help a new generation of kids stay true to their core selves and just BE OKAY with their emotions? How do we teach them not to distract themselves with wine or beer or electronics or sex..later.. of course? Maybe the answer is in the 8 steps to wellness that I outline in THIS POST

I think that if we practice acknowledging our emotions AT THE TIME, by giving ourselves the time and space to do that. I mean, how do you acknowledge sadness when you have to be at work in 5 minutes? You have a good cry, wipe your eyes, and go into work, I suppose. That’s what I do most days. Is it deflecting or ignoring it by doing the things we have to? I don’t think so. I think we have responsibilities with limited time and we still need to Get up & show up.

As long as we are giving ourselves the needed self-care AFTER work and ACTIVELY working on the 8 dimensions of wellness, we can learn to LEAN IN, MOVE FORWARD and be our BEST version of ourselves that we can be.

https://mandyhawks27.blogspot.com/2020/11/lean-backwards-or-forewards.html

Vulnerability

Sucks.

It really does. Because that’s usually how we get hurt or offended or disappointed.

We finally get enough courage to open up and expose ourselves, and BAM we get slammed. Again. Then it takes us twice as long to creak open the treasure box- which is us- and peek out again.

I believe the key is in our expectations. What is our goal? Do we want love, acceptance? Sure, everyone does. By remembering that everyone is not in that safe space to receive us in our entire ‘raw-ety’; we can be ok with the people who aren’t able to hold space for us.

It can be a good opportunity for us to hold space for someone else though. Instead of striking back at them for not being emotionally mature and secure enough to accept us, we can model how to be emotionally mature and secure for them.

I found this except from The Conquer You Experience that explains how we don’t have to be completely vulnerable with everyone.

"Vulnerability is giving others a peek into the raw, true self, and providing a doorway for others to enter, if they choose, to do the same. It is a sacred experience, a gift, that shouldn’t be given to just anyone. It needs to be earned and shared in a safe space. Being authentic and vulnerable can knock down others protective walls and allow them to freely open up to their emotions, to feel, and to feel safe doing so. 

Vulnerability is the great connector.  When we share these vulnerable moments, we are putting a piece of us on the table for another to see, in all it’s magnificent imperfections.  We open up knowing there is a possibility for judgment, rejection and pain. It’s risky. But when done in the right setting with the right people, it allows us to connect with others on the deepest of levels.

Greater intimacy (into-me-see), in all our relationships, is on the other side of vulnerable and difficult conversations. These sacred conversations allow for others to truly see us".-Taylor Cooper

Chris Herren/Brene Brown/ Larry Murrell & Gabor Mate

A collection of significant videos that touched me deeply at different parts of this journey of discovery into my sons addiction.

This guy resonates soo well with me because he reminds me of my son…… This is how it’s done if they ever say they don’t see a way “back”. One step at a time.

https://fb.watch/5y7hIhceA9/

This guy might seem extreme, but wouldn’t you want the inner child of your addicted loved one to KNOW they are loved?

Leaning In

Check out my latest post from a blast from my past. LEANING IN!

Here’s an excerpt:

We’ve often heard the term LEANING IN as way to listen to hear and not to respond.

In Andy Goldsworthy’s film “Leaning In”, he sees it as one of two ways- You can either walk on the path or go through the hedge.
Trailer to leaning in

I’ve always seemed to pick going through the hedge and the “most difficult” path, but it certainly has been the most adventurous.

On a family camping trip many years ago, we were going down a mountain path on the million dollar highway in Colorado. We were in a 25 foot motorhome we had rented for this adventure. I had 5 little kids in that tin box and as we headed down the steep windy roads, my fears and imagination took a new level. I have always been afraid of heights and being on the passenger side seeing the edge and the seemingly endless bottom of the mountain, the thought of my precious cargo spiraling down the edge of that rocky cliff sent me into a panic.

I actually started yelling while half crying: “LEAN!!! LEANNNNN kids-towards the mountain!!!”

That was back in the days of not as strict seat belt use and I really thought our 7 bodies leaning towards the driver side would stop our spiraling life in that moment.



Apparently it worked. We survived! But for years, my kids never failed to tease me at every opportunity to LEAN! LEAN Towards the mountain! That day we stayed safe on the path. I leaned into (away from?) my fears, I suppose.

Brene Brown told Oprah many years ago what I have now come to realize is true in dealing with our emotions,

It’s he or she who’s willing to be the most uncomfortable can rise strong,” Brené says. “Discomfort: the way home.”It may be more tempting to lean away from discomfort with “a glass of red wine, or six,” Brené jokes, but leaning in is far more powerful.
Brene Brown-leaning into discomfort


Think about it, those who seem to have an “easy life” tend to be the ones who can handle far less. I’m not faulting them, everyone has a deck of cards they are dealt and they play them the best they can. For those born into wealthy and/or healthy families, I commend you.

I once had a co-worker who figured out that we both knew a mutual acquaintance. She proceeded to tell me what a wonderful human this person was and I wholeheartedly agreed. In my mind, though, I was thinking, “she’s had a cushy, easy life with alot of supportive and wonderful family around, why wouldn’t she be?” Of course, I have since learned that appearances are misleading and we NEVER know what obstacles a person goes through personally, NO MATTER what they post on social media.

“A hard life build character” the old timers used to say. So then, if being uncomfortable (or doing hard things) is a way to work through our emotions, how do we help a new generation of kids stay true to their core selves and just BE OKAY with their emotions? How do we teach them not to distract themselves with wine or beer or electronics or sex..later.. of course? Maybe the answer is in the 8 steps to wellness that I outline in THIS POST.



I think that acknowledging our emotions AT THE TIME, is the first step. This requires that we give ourselves the time and space to do that. I mean, how do you acknowledge sadness when you have to be to work in 5 minutes? You have a good cry, wipe your eyes, and go into work I suppose. That’s what I do most days. Is it deflecting or ignoring it by doing the things we have to? I dont think so. I think we have responsibilities with limited time and we still need to Get up & show up.




As long as we are giving ourselves the needed self care AFTER work and ACTIVELY working on the 8 dimensions of wellness, we can learn to LEAN IN, MOVE FORWARD and be our BEST version of ourselves that we can be.

https://mandyhawks27.blogspot.com/2020/11/lean-backwards-or-forewards.html