Is Forgiveness Letting Someone Off The Hook?

Humble Movement for the Liberation of All

-Matt Kahn


It is quite common to confuse forgiveness with ‘letting someone off the hook’ from being accountable for their actions– as if forgiveness robs someone of the opportunity of owning the gravity of their most unconscionable behavior. While untrue, it stems from a subconscious belief often suggesting, “if I don’t condemn, I’m being compliant.​” It’s quite an extreme view that is ultimately rooted in fear– in particular, the fear of being associated with atrocious actions or believing atrocity will only get worse, “if I don’t relentlessly judge, condemn, and criticize insidious behavior.”​​ Even though attacking victimizers does more to strengthen the worthlessness that causes them to hurt others as a way of bypassing their own unresolved pain than it does to rescue those being hurt. In essence, condemning a victimizer creates more time and space for that criticism to become additional ammunition to unload onto​ more innocent people. It furthers the problem instead of resolving it at its root.

In order to cleanse this planet of predatory patterning and create an energetic grid with a vibration that allows change to be processed, growth to be inspired, and even hardship to be overcome without harm done to self or another, both the victim and victimizer must be healed.

By praying for the salvation of a victimizer, you aren’t saying anything is okay or let’s let it go.​ You are aware that, through our interconnection of oneness, ​praying for the salvation of a victimizer transforms that aspect into a version of self that cannot and will not do harm, so to have the space for self-accountability to arise. Simultaneously, such an act of salvation liberates every victim of that abuser, including the ancestral lineages of all victims and victimizers through your courageous desire to serve and further the healing of life’s most daunting depth of suffering. It’s nearly like being face-to-​face with a criminal who has victims held hostage, not knowing this is a stand-o​ff with your true Buddha nature. If ​it was ​a stand-off with your ego, you might be conflicted as to how to spare the victims held at bay​​ without letting the victimizer go. And yet, when understanding the grace of Universal redemption, no one is let ‘off the hook’ to go spread further harm,​ but rather escorted directly into the heart of Source to undergo a radical process of transformation and self-accountability that cannot be confused with rationalizing the damage done in moments of abuse. And so, the wise Buddha grants the victimizer salvation, freeing the​ victims to begin the healing process, while the victimizer begins the journey of facing hurt and the hurt caused without hurting another.

None of this will feel fair to the human self ​which is why, as a form of karmic yoga, the human focuses on how each courageous act of prayer, contribution to social reform, and donations made to reputable charities furthering change on this level help rescue victims from abuse. If and when ending cycles of violence, war, abuse, suffering, and separation weigh deeply on our hearts, then may we leave no stone unturned in the unconditional redemption of each soul. Since not everyone is ready for this type of step or contribution, please hold no pressure over yourself to push and push until you can achieve the unthinkable. That type of push would make it more about self-achievement than the abused beings we are so selflessly serving. No matter how much or how little you are able to contribute, dare to bless the selflessness of awakened beings who are willing to ‘go there’ on humanity’s behalf—whether anyone else may go there, understand its importance, or would rather condemn such a being for the healing inspired​ and the number of victims and ancestral lineages quietly set free. It is all a part of know thy self. You can go within and know yourself as an entire Universe of infinite Universes. And yet, you haven’t truly known yourself until you come back from within to meet extensions of yourself as the people you help to heal. This is why the deepest self-realization is not a phrase or concept, but a humble movement of inspired service for the liberation of all. May all beings be healed and liberated by the inspired actions we take, the prayers we create, and by becoming the change we wish to see — now and forever. And so it is.

All For Love,


We thank you for the light of Holy Solution you shine.


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A unique perspective on the world from a small town girl turned big city nurse. Now a grandmother to 6 gregarious, resplendent boys and 5 endearing, magical girls, she strives the make the world a more understanding, pleasant place to experience this intense thing called life.

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