Matt Kahn, spiritual guru says this:

Everything you will ever receive will unravel, anything you gain will be lost.

Except for 2 things :

  • The love you cultivate in your heart. (NOT dependant on love you receive)
  • The high road that YOU insist on walking” (independent of how you are treated)

Wow, just wow!

In a society that is all about fulfilling your needs and being entitled to FAIRNESS & demanding respect, this is so liberating to me.
To understand that everything which is thrown in your path is manifested (?) there to help you achieve the highest form of you as possible! Not like God throwing things down on you as a big version of Hunger Games; but more as a pre- planned challenge to help you achieve certain things for your higher good.

So this whole fantasy notion of treating people how they treat you- is like a 5 year old would say : “he started it”.

How does that help us grow and be free to have pure joy??? It doesn’t. It just continues the cycle of dysfunction.

If we want to have experiences that help us choose the high road in order to ultimately become free of the disillusionment & disappointment that almost always comes with this life,
then we need to accept that the challenges and the annoying people in our life are just characters who are helping us achieve this!!!

Young woman or old lady? It all depends on how we look at it. Are things here to help us or hurt us?

Characters. Playing a specific role. So yes, sort of like Hunger Games.

It’s fascinating & freeing to me.

To not have-to- have this dependence on having only happy ideal experiences (which is never assured) & putting the pressure on others to make ME happy…..

To actually DECIDE HOW I’m going to treat people BEFORE they do ANYTHING back? -no matter how they treat me- is such a new concept.

I was unconsciously (& consciously) taught the opposite- bitterness, anger, silence, writing people off for good if they wronged you.

It takes the whole cycle of dysfunction away and just let’s you sincerely thank people and love them for whatever they are going thru at the time, regardless of how it affects you.

A lifetime of misunderstandings and hurt feelings and unsaid things, things that you think of people that they probably didn’t even have a clue about! But you’re going to punish them anyway! It’s crazy-making how we have lived.

I realize this is easier said than done. To ‘neuter’ our emotions in a way that makes us compassionate and caring but not overreacting; takes practice. Byron Katie states that even with good intentions, we resort back to thinking negatively.

Her theory is to question if they are really true and then let. them take care of themselves & hopefully glide away without needing our intense reactions. Like a rattlesnake in the desert.

So, my goal is to combine these two theories into:

Questioning a belief about an experience I may be having; accepting that maybe it’s here to help me, and realizing that I have the power to control MY experience with it.

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Samantha Waters

A unique perspective on the world from a small town girl turned big city nurse. Now a grandmother to 6 gregarious, resplendent boys and 5 endearing, magical girls, she strives the make the world a more understanding, pleasant place to experience this intense thing called life.

One thought on “Pre-Deciding”

  1. The saying I learned along the way is: “clinging leads to suffering.” As long as you think things are supposed to be a certain way and they don’t turn out that way, you suffer. Let go of your preconceived ideas and you’ll be happier. Don’t know that I always do that, but I try.

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