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Self Care & Our Own Habits

Hypocrisy is the practice of engaging in the same behavior or activity for which one criticizes another or the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform. In moral psychology, it is the failure to follow one’s own expressed moral rules and principles.[1] According to British political philosopher David Runciman– according to Wikipedia,

This is the first quote in my book I’m writing.

Why am I saying this? Because we are SO good at telling our addicted loved ones to take care of their selves and do things to get their bodies healthy again, yet what are we going? Possibly getting more stressed, more sick & more depressed.

We become so focused on the “goal” or our particular destination happiness, that we fail to live in the present.

Matt Kahn stated:

“I think one of the hang-ups is that we reserve gratitude for when life becomes the way we want it to be. We’re not grateful for the chance to experience the things that ensure we confront our limiting ideas and painful feelings. We are often caught in a standoff with life that says: I’ll be the most grateful when everything changes to my desired specifications”. 

Matt Kahn

We rush around (maybe only in our scattered & frazzled mind) trying to make things happen so that WE can finally relax.

We might even enjoy and feel justified with a glass of wine to calm down.

Yes, although WE may not be the alcoholic and be immune to the allergy & obsession of addiction; it still may not be the best choice for our overall vibration.

How to facilitate a better vibrational state, so we are not ruminating on our problems, seems like a reasonable goal.

All of us must find our Place Of Peace. It’s a continual process, I believe. One that requires consistent daily habits, which I am quite inept at.

Today, its a rainy spring day, and after an emotional weekend of worry and indecisiveness, my goal for today was self care to find my place of peace. As I’m setting new goals, I find this live concert on You Tube on my apple TV.

What perfect background music to relax by than Jackson Browne? Why don’t I know this guy? Hope you enjoy this concert as I did. ( I guess I do know him- he’s the “Take it Easy” writer from the Eagles.

One of my challenges is setting goals with specifics such as time management & allocation. I’m working on it. Rituals such as described in Shelly Young’s article below will help.

I recently quoted her in my post the other day and she has some great self-care advice here, also.

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A Loving Kindness Ritual

Every morning. Every single morning for the past six years, I light a candle, settle onto a cushion, close my eyes and say the loving kindness meditation/prayer, Metta. I say it several times. 

Once for myself, in the spirit of giving a gift to myself, the gift of happiness, peace, kindness. In the spirit of generosity and love I say it outward, once for my children., once for my friends and family, once for anyone in particular in need of support, healing, blessing, my attention or affection or someone who has been a benevolent force in my life, shared time, energy, space, kindness support with me. Then once for all of us, the collective us, all of humanity, all beings in nature.

It is how I touch into that which is greater than myself, my place in the family of things, the collective of humanity, my role in the perpetuation of love and kindness. It grounds me in the now and sets the tone for the day. It is my work to be a force of love and extend that outward as well as inward. To be in service to the greater good. 

I offer this meditation, this ritual to you as a way of priming your body, your heart, your nervous system, your brain for peace, a way of connecting into a greater force of love and wellbeing, a wish for all to be well, happy and peaceful. A chant if you will, for healing.

Try it for a week, a month, a season. See what it feels like in your body to say the words out loud, to extend the blessing outward and inward, to lean into the ritual as a resource for wellbeing and connecting to the family of things. See how it feels. 

Start with yourself, be kind, generous and loving to yourself first then extend that love and kindness outward. Lay love over all that is. 

May I be well happy and peaceful. 

May no harm come to me. 

May no difficulties come to me. 

May I always meet with miraculous success. 

May I also have the courage, patience and understanding to meet and overcome inevitable problems and failures.

May I always remember you are connected to a Presence that is never absent.

May I be held, may you be healed, may you be transformed.

I’m saying it with you. We can say it together.

If you want to join others who say Metta every Thursday 12:00-12:30 in community with my friends Rose + Jen go here. 

Everyone is welcome. 

Image Credit: Jen Lemen. You can find her on Instagram!

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Made with love in Flodesk.

We are the artists of our world
We are the authors of our story
Paint colours and magic
Write peace and happiness
See love
Feel joy
Create miracles

~ Karen Star ❤

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LoSe BIG

What are you truly scared of?

I see it all the time.

People acting the way they do strictly out of ғᴇᴀʀ.

Think about it. Would there be ĂŃŶ office politics if people were not fearful for their job?

Would there be ĂŃŶ fights in relationshipd if people were not fearful of LOSS?

Would there be ĂŃŶ addicted gamblers if they were not fearful of being βŘØҜ€?

I swear everything that anyone does is out of fear of losing something. Either their identity (which they have attached to their job, their relationship or their material things) or their lifestyle.

I’m not a psychologist but I believe most things come down to those 2 things. (But I am a mom AND a nurse sooooooo…..)

Let’s look at those 2 things.

Identity: Who am I?

Who am without this mask? Literal mask and invisible mask.

Am I just the sum of my parts? My achievements, if you will…My title, my riches, my awards on the wall? All those things are representative of power and prestige in our society. Of course, we have to have goals. We can’t just live in a tent singing kumbaya can we?

It all depends on where you are in life.

While raising my kids, I yearned & searched for bigger and better things to achieve my goals of organization. If only my house was bigger, my car newer (because of course then it wouldn’t be messy) or if only my kids had nice cubby’s to organize their backpacks and shoes then they would for sure organize their backpacks and shoes.

Now, that I’m old🧓 I want peace, simplicity, order, beauty. I definitely don’t want a big house to spend all my time cleaning. I don’t want cubbys or a huge washroom for more and more clothes to spend more & more time washing.

So wherever you’re at in your journey there are different things you want. If you want to move up the ladder at work you will do almost anything to appear competent, resourceful and productive. If you want to be seen as the good mom, you will do almost anything to  a͆p͆p͆e͆a͆r͆ as if…..

Now I do understand, not every good mom wants to fulfill her ego and post perfect family photos so that she’ll get lots of likes and comments of what a beautiful family she has and what a great mom she is. Some just WANT all that. Regardless of what others think or say.

But regardless of the endorphins that flood our system to help us feel good, we all have root (core) emotions we need. I believe that it all comes down to safety.

We want to feel safe.

What? A worldwide virus in is coming? My family needs toilet paper to feel safe.

A mask will keep us safe? I want a mask. (Don’t worry, I’m not going there- but I kinda sorta did Here)

Having our house organized with this or that helps us feel safe. Having a food supply helps us feel safe. So many things that advertisers KNOW will appeal to our sense of safety via our ego. “If my hair is soft and thick and healthy looking them I will appear healthy and strong and on the ball. That will make me feel good which makes me feel safe in my world)

If you have ever listened to Abraham Hicks  you know that A̳l̳l̳ you have to do to feel good and HAVE good is get into the “zone” so you can then get into “vortex” to receive everything you ever wanted.

The way to get into the zone is to deny ANY negative thoughts and focus on what you want rather than “what is”.

So if you’re sitting there with your head in your hands staring at your empty back account sick to death with worry of money, you will get more empty back accounts and more stomach pains and more worry, which then takes you “out of alignment” so you bring on more bad luck. Such as a car wreck or illness.  Her theory has been around for ages that you must feel good to receive good. It’s basically the law of attraction redone, with The Secret going back to 1937  Napoleon Hill & Helen Blavatsky a Russian occultist in 1875.

Ancient hindu art depicting reincarnation

But why then do people who lose everything make a huge comeback sometimes? There are plenty of videos set to music to show these famous and not so famous people who have done that. I think it’s because of Gary V.’s quote at the top. Yes I’m quoting Gary V despite not liking his language he used to spout off & his empty long videos. Now he’s getting into more short and sweet motivational shartzz – I like to call them -such as This and This one too.

All I’m saying is, when you lose your job that you can’t imagine ever losing and you survived it; and you lose your dream business you built up – like my son; you lose your beautiful home that was your pillar image of your success; and you still survived, then you come away with a deep power and strength inside u that nothing can break you. This means that worrying that someone won’t like you or like your work, becomes a non issue. Engaging in drama doesn’t appeal to you because you have nothing to prove.

Divorce used to be the scariest, baddest word I knew, but after surviving it, I don’t fear being alone anymore. Does this make us insensitive and hardened to the vulnerabilities of life? Not if we don’t let it.

I think it makes us a better person because we don’t attach our identify to a specific job, title, person, or area to live in or our annual income.

We know we can find happiness anywhere. Money and power make life easier in alot of ways, but they make it alot more complicated too.

I haven’t read The Tethered Soul in a few years but it’s the best example I can think of – of how money didn’t matter to him- before he had it and again after he had it.

Don’t be afraid of losing everything- you just may find yourself.

hαppψ †hαηκšgï∀ïηg 2020