The Spiderweb Trap

I’m having a fight with Charlotte. Charlotte watches me. I watch Charlotte. Charlotte is a lot smaller than me, but she still scares me.

I first met Charlotte- or Charlotte’s work– when I saw a little web over a picture frame in my bathroom window. I cleaned it off and forgot about it. A few days later, I noticed it again. I took everything off the window sill and scrubbed it down. A few days later – there it was again.

This happened 2 more times. I couldn’t ever see the creator of the web, but she was certainly persistent.

“Where was this master spinner at?”

Does she have a home that she spends time at and her web is just her workplace that she goes to at certain hours? A few days later, I finally captured the elusive spinner as she sat admiring her work, I’m sure.

Dang, it was a white spider which my superstitious Mom (rest in peace) always said never to kill or it would bring bad luck.

So here I was, seemingly held hostage by a tiny monster that I didn’t dare get rid of. Things were just starting to look wonderful, I didn’t need any more bad luck.

I didn’t dare risk it. So here we sit. Charlotte ruling the house from behind her magical screen like some wizard of oz behind the curtain.

As I watched this video by Joe Dispenza, it occurred to me that like him, Charlotte is more concerned with the future than the past. She doesn’t care how many times her home is wrecked, she’s gonna rebuild. Whatever my thoughts or opinions are about her, she won’t let it stop her. She’s gonna do her thing to live and survive the best she can.

What can I learn from this meager little powerhouse of an insect? That no matter what anyone else says or does, we can stay true to our own purpose, to our own joy and satisfaction.

We can spin our web however we want to. It’s OUR story. OUR pain, our joy.

Of course, connecting with others is human. We can’t really hide in a corner and entrap anything that comes along with vitriol and spitefulness. But we can heal enough so that we aren’t affected by others’ actions.

We can then open our hearts with love which like Joe says in turn opens up our neurons that expand [just like a spider web] and leads our brains to new ideas and learning. Staying stuck closes us off from open hearts and open minds.

How to heal? How to change our thoughts?

Joe describes it as waking up in the morning with a blank slate and NOT by focusing on our problems from yesterday. How much webbing could Charlotte get done if all she thought about was Euyore-like thoughts “It will probably just get crushed by some giant human hand in a giant white paper towel? Why even try?”

It’s fine to think about what needs to be done to fix things but not things that are out of our control. Joe says to use our thoughts to reaffirm our future – not to condition us to stay stuck in our past.

He states the way to do this is by visualizing your affirming thoughts. In other words, think about what kind of person you want to be such us loving and kind, not reactive and suspicious. Think of things you want to have happen. Things you want to do. Your brain doesn’t know the difference of whether you’re actually doing it or not, so it will start creating new proteins that reflect those activities and characteristics. This is actually creating a new YOU!

He talks about achieving “coherence between brain and heart” which makes synchronicity that creates a “laser focus” of information back and forth. This helps with stress, and reactivity, with patterns that no longer serve us. It creates new thoughts which turn into actions that create more opportunities in our lives so we don’t feel stuck in this web of negativity.

My hope is that we can use our magic to spin our webs of love. To catch joy and light into the strands of thoughts we produce. To reaffirm our beauty and our true selves into our own webs of life. To be able to find where our power and peace lie- free from past conditioning so we can be open to receiving more love and peace.

Staying in The Moment

At my job, we teach staying in the present as a coping skill.
The last few weeks and months seem to have a lot of minds busy with turbulence & unrest…

One of the things I’ve learned most about helping people in duress is to bring them back to the moment.

“Grounding” is the new term.

Since most or at least some forms of anxiety usually come from thinking about too many scenarios that may happen or problems you are having and feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to slow down those thoughts & ground yourself to the moment.

One great strategy I’ve found is to say:

“We don’t have to fix this all right now”.


“What is your body telling you that you need at this moment? “

Recently I was looking in my old journals and I found in one of my notebook ramblings from 2006- long before all my current job training-which had MY SIMPLE TRUTHS written at the top:

#1: I don’t have to fix everything right now

I think we instinctively know what we need at any given moment ….it’s just breaking down the barriers to reach that wisdom. Being quiet enough with our egos & fears & insecurities to allow peace in.

Which is really the whole premise to meditation.

I haven’t mastered meditation or even stuck with it long enough to master it, but yesterday I found Joe Dispenza’s motivational videos and I just might start again.

As a life longer “self improvement obsessive-er ( because I can’t say junkie) I never really stop looking for life hacks. But along the way of doing this, we can still get lost in the ” fixing”.

Whether it be fixing ourselves or someone else, or just a situation in crisis; There are moments in your life when you come to a crossroads and realize that you are losing yourself in the process.

Mine was seeing a picture pop up in memories from three years ago. I saw a vibrant, white teeth, soft, freshly colored – gray hair covered-styled hair, person who’s biggest problem seemed to be to make it on time to dance class at age 49.

Now, having fun seems so far away from my mental health after being in survival mode for so long.

I’ve heard that desperation and pain are great motivators for change. For me, seeing a picture of myself caused me great distress in my need to change.

So, just for today, I will tell myself:

Yoυ don’т need тo ғιх everyтнιng rιgнт now, or  тoday, or even тoмorrow

Then ask my body, what is it you need right now?

Today, mine is saying freedom from this excess weight that has been used as a cushion to comfort me in times of great stress.

I’ve become a Hibernating 🐻 Bear on a Long voyage to Mars. ( Since I can’t say “trip”. But it’s time to come back to Earth.