Tag: despair

Free Gifts

As I was shopping at a discount and salvage store yesterday, a lady was standing in front of a palate of cardboard boxes as I checked out. She asked if I wanted a case of dinner rolls- for free.

Being Easter weekend (and even had it not been) I said “sure”.

The box had been frozen and was thawing fast. I drove home and proceeded to put my groceries away. When I saw how many ‘dinner rolls’ there were in that case, I quickly called around to see who wanted some. There were no instructions in the box, just a California company. I managed to divide my rolls up and put as many in the freezer as I could. The remainder I placed on cookie sheets to thaw out and bake.

A bit later, I noticed they hadn’t risen at all, so I heated up the oven and put them at 325 degrees. When I started to smell the dough cooking, I checked on them and they were obviously too brown. I tried to save them by scraping off the dark part but they were still dough-ee inside.

My daughter stopped by and since she worked in 2 bakeries as the bread baker, she said to cut a slit in them on the next batch. I turned on my air fryer and decreased the heat, and started my second batch complete with the much-needed slits advice in the top. They too quickly went dark with dough-ee insides.

Finally, after this failure, my husband called from Texas, and after hearing my baking adventures, mentioned that maybe they are scones. Yes! They are scones. Little square scones! It was obvious now. The lady just hadn’t known what these “free gifts” were.

I proceeded to heat up some oil and dropped my newly acquired dough knowledge with confidence into the crackling oil. They quickly turned dark and crusty with dough-ee insides. Obviously the oil was too hot. Next batch was better- a soft golden brown developed on the outside as my mouth watered, thinking of the butter and honey dripping off of them into my mouth.

When they had cooled, I eagerly sliced into the golden brown crust and was hit with more raw dough!

What the heck? How many times was it going to take me to get my reward from my ‘free gift’?

It was then that I realized how long it had been since I cooked scone dough. Years! But my memory was being forced back. After letting them sit outside the freezer for a while, I would take the little clumps and stretch them in all directions, as far as I could without breaking the tender dough, then gently lay them in the warming oil.

The skin would gently turn a light golden brown upon which I would turn them over to finish their lovely cooking into a beautiful display of breaded goodness.

How could I have forgotten?

Over the years my cooking and baking has decreased tremendously, so this seemed the likely excuse. But the more I thought about it, I started to see that I had forgotten my way because I was mistakenly told what my free gift was.

My gift wasn’t “frozen dinner rolls”. My gift was a mixture of soft flour and rich oils and butter and baking powder and a touch of salt, all immersed together, frozen, silently awaiting their chance to be dropped in the hot oil-not unlike the making of steel-just waiting to shine brightly into SCONES!

How often do we forget what our gifts are? How often do we veer away from our truth to chase some version of ourself or a false God who promises things that are too good to be true and end up causing strife and pain, not only to ourselves, but to others.

How often do we feel the ache of a soul abandoned by God? Who was the abandoner? How many times have we unknowingly crushed someone who loves us, because we were hellbent on some sort of personal satisfaction at all costs?

Or maybe someone has or is doing it to you. You feel the ache of who they used to be. You feel that they have forgotten who they are.

They've forgotten their gifts. Their gift to the world. Have you forgotten your gifts too?

Your gifts of love, of compassion. Your strength. How many times have you been told you are strong? But you didn’t feel strong. You felt weak, insignificant; ignored even.

You forgot your gifts. You lost sight of your power.

You were pulled into the pit of pityland where everything is gray, gray, gray.

How to get out? Where do we start looking for our “free gifts?” Our gifts that were lovingly handed to us by a greater power or by the generations of goodness that our ancestors contained of which led to the billions of cells that are YOU!

This video is of the Paralympics where all the runners are blind. They have partners who are tied together at the wrists! I don’t know the whole story but I know this video brought tears to my eyes.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/702423574085939?fs=e&s=cl

Rise up.

You can find your gifts again. Your gifts are meant to shine. You can be an inspiration to those around you, even when you feel broken. Maybe the way to mend the emptiness and pain inside you, is to be of service to someone else.

Easter is about re- birth. Springtime.

New growth. Old growth redefined.

Happy Easter

Happy grow day. Happy find- your- hidden gifts day.

Where to Stare In A Storm

Where to Stare in the Storm

A few months ago, my husband and I were caught in a thunderstorm in Texas that left us stranded in our car for over an hour. I wrote about it in this blog:

Drenched

That storm ended up taking the lives of 2 missionaries later that day. I can’t believe how quickly I became fearful for our safety between the horrendous downpouring of rainwater flooding out the road to the high power lines above us just waiting to be struck by a lightning bolt and tumble onto our car.

I actually messaged my kids goodbye, just in case. I couldn’t believe this was how it was gonna end! I had no way of knowing if I would make it out, except that deep down I think I knew that I was being kept “afloat” until a solution could appear.

When we are going through a storm, all we can see is the chaos around us. We are caught in this tunnel of darkness that the tornado has thrust us into. It surrounds our physical and mental self and can be suffocating with the fear and dread. Sometimes we can’t see that the sun or Rainbow is right around the corner. Just like in our Texas storm- the rainbow. The promise of hope.

I love this meme because in our sincere pleading for the storm to end, we might be depriving yourself of the lessons or ideas that the storm might be leading us to. Thoughts and ideas that would not have came otherwise. Just hold on and get through it? Welcome what gratitude or appreciation for life that comes.

Listen to Max Lucado

“‘Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.’ So He said, ‘Come.’ And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus” (Matthew 14:28-29).

Peter never would have made this request on a calm sea. I doubt Peter would have ever stepped out of the boat. Storms prompt us to take unprecedented journeys. For a few heart-stilling moments, Peter did the impossible. He defied every law of gravity and nature.

Matthew moves us quickly to the major message of the event, and that is where to stare in a storm. “But when [Peter] saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, ‘Lord, save me!’” (v. 30). 

Focus on Christ, you can do the impossible. Focus on the storm, you begin to sink.

Once you get through the storm – of course- it’s a matter of disentangling yourself from your ingrained habits, thoughts, & actions that were not made with a safe and clear head. Some people will hold those against you forever but what’s important is that you don’t hold them against yourself.

This is scripture from my particular church: Latter day Saints, which states how to rely on God through difficult trials. I love the art work.

https://knowhy.bookofmormoncentral.org/knowhy/how-does-the-lord-make-our-burdens-light

If you’re in a storm, past the storm, or riding the wave of the storm please know that you can get through it intact, and even better than the storm found you! It’s so hard to imagine it while you’re suffering, but those are the times to rely on faith. Some people will only define you by what you did and said during that storm, and honestly that journey is on them. Forgiveness is a personal thing. Sometimes we only have the power to forgive ourselves.