Fly Away

When I was little, I had this recurring dream that I could fly. I actually looked forward to sleep so I could go on my own little flying adventure. I was always startled when I woke up and had to face reality.

Just like this drone footage my husband took in Texas last weekend, I could fly above my child problems, my insecurities, my dysfunctional family. I could look at all the Brady Bunch houses that I imagined had warm, fun, rich families inside them.

So this weekend while visiting this beautiful lake, my husband filmed with his drone.

I didn’t know it until I returned home but right by that lake in Texas, is a rehab that does the real brain mapping for addiction and other ingrained habits.

I had originally heard about that through the Matthews Hope organization and was fascinated. I’m not sure if it’s the same technology, but it doesn’t matter anyway. I called regarding admission for my son who’s currently incarcerated on a 30 day hold. His pending trial is for possession & back child support that he didn’t pay while in active addiction & in survival mode.

This rehab charges more than Eric Clapton’s rehab in the West Indies-yup, I have looked into sending him out of the country!-so it’s not an option for negotiating in place of jail time. It’s good stuff though. Stuff my son would like instead of the fluffy feely God stuff.

Here’s what they do:

iTMS™ induces neuromodulation. Neuromodulation is the process of resetting the brain frequency to the same rate in all functional areas of the brain.

An electroencephalogram (EEG) measures electrical patterns of the brain. These patterns reflect cortical activity and are commonly known as brainwaves. We use quantitative EEG (q-EEG), also referred to as brain mapping, and an electrocardiogram (EKG) which maps the electrical activity of the heart, to further understand an individual's brain activity.

It looks like a great program.

For now I’m stuck in this powerless, sad mode. My son has been in solitary confinement for 10 days, for a disease that’s so bad it tells him he doesn’t have a disease. It tells him to do anything to feed his cravings. Yes, and now he’s paying for his Do Anythings. I get it. What I don’t get, is how happy that makes some people. To revel in another’s pain. To kick a man when he’s down for how he’s hurt you when he was being a puppet to the most insidious, unrelenting, all encompassing evil disease there is.

Hurt people hurt people. We all know….but where does it end? Everybody’s hurting, but you would think that the more “healthy brains” would be more able to stop the cycle.

But alas, people are people. Inflicting or witnessing punishment will always be rewarding to some…

I’ll leave you with my Mama’s favorite artist John Denver: