One thing I’ve learned this year (from my 4th therapist 🤷🏼♀️) is that you CAN’T should-on people. Which means they shudda done this and shudda done that -in order for ME to feel better……etc.
Even though we don’t like others telling us what we should do, we are sometimes quick to tell others how to live their life.
At the time, it seems like it’s the best thing for us (to feel better) but is the way we are trying to manipulate the situation really the best version of ourselves?
As badly as you want/need this for someone else – think of how misunderstood you feel in challenging situations.
Remind yourself that you will incur the misunderstanding and perhaps even wrath of those around you for having the temerity to march to your own drumbeat. Don’t take it personally even for one moment. It is merely a strategy to get you to conform, and when you fail to react, the wrath will quickly disappear. At the same time, allow those in your immediate sphere to have the joy of blissfully marching to their own beat.- Dr Wayne Dyer
Oh man- I love this explanation so much! 💖 When we encounter people who test us & push all our trigger buttons or when they say God-awful things to us; we may wish we had never met them or we have this knee-jerk reaction to want revenge. Or, we decide we need to “fix” them & make them see what a jerk they are and get them to see things our way.
It’s frustrating & maddening & heartbreaking to want something so bad yet freeing to have a goal that we don’t have to live this way. We don’t have to suffer in agony at others’ choices! We can love what ANYONE brings to our table-
KNOWING full well
that it’s all for the becoming of US! For our growth-possibly for us to see how we may be treating someone else.
Or maybe it’s just for us to love people for where they are at & love the parts of THEM that are feeling such pain.💝
It’s possible to get there…I’ve heard others who have.
Life is so precious. I wish we could see that BEFORE we engage in destructive behavior or before we argue and fight over material objects or statues or whose opinion matters more or who’s “doing it right-er“.
At the end of the day who’s opinion does matter more? Only ours, in a lot of instances; because WE have to live with ourselves.
It’s not about proving our point to someone who will only see things from THEIR experience-it’s about protecting ourselves and our families the best way we know-how.
But doing it with honor and compassion if possible.
Just as you don’t like to be controlled, you can’t control others either.
So buckle down and figure out what’s important to you. Then figure out the best plan moving forward.
This is the time.