One of my little jobs I have is calling rest homes & assisted livings across America & surveying them on their experience they had with their loved one.
Since I call the same facilities every month, I get a feeling for which ones are pretty well ran & which ones are going to have a bunch of very angry southern folk yelling at ME for it all!
I know when I call the Bible belt facilities, I will get a lot of “Bless you’s” & “praise the Lord!” which I appreciate!
But it always amazes me how much of a different experience people can have in the SAME place, same time period, SAME food, somewhat same staff.
Yesterday I called my only local building. I had to keep reminding myself this is the SAME building that all these people are taking about!
It just goes to show that Sometimes (keeping in mind there ARE lots of variables in healthcare) it’s our attitude that can make or break our experience of life.
These are the answers I received to the exact same questions:
“I appreciated everything!!! I’ve never seen a group of people who treated their residents like family. Everyone was very professional and willing to help out if you needed them to.
“I’d say it was a great experience and the best place for rehab.
“They treated like you like long lost family, accommodating, communicative. If I had a question they would answer it.
“They never returned my calls.
“Communication is lacking. Management was poor. They made promises and would never follow through with anything.
“They were very attentive to my dad, the nurses were always good to contact me.
“If you can rate it into the negative, do that. It was horrendous.Nothing redeeming about this building. I appreciated NOTHING about this place.
“Very poor, if I could go below one I would. The care was that bad.
“If you guys are serious you should send in someone who has empathy for their patients.Have them go undercover, if anyone is not doing what they should, you should fire them on the spot.
“Therapy was disorganized and too much into themselves.
“The therapy was ok.
“GIve therapy FIVE STARS!
“The food was terrible.
“Food wasn’t properly prepared and no special diets.Lettuce was tired.
“The food was not good at all.
“The quality of the food was a five.
“Their food was edible and a good variety
Everyone’s experience differs according to what they’re dealing with. Fear can takeover how we see things and how we treat people – which then creates a dynamic of how they treat us back. If you’re coming from a place of unhappiness most of your day will look bland and negative (I’m speaking from MY experience). If you see a gray sky you may never notice the bright pink flowers. When your emotional energy is spent on worry and fear for your loved one or for a pressing problem, such as finances, you see everything through that lens, as stated in this lens of trauma.
I spent a lot of time listening to Abraham Hicks over the years. She (or ‘they’ – since she channels a spirit guide through her) preach on keeping your vibration at stellar heights in order to achieve the results you want. This article describes the cult like following of Abraham, but I still find her rants and speeches helpful to pull me out of a slump. It’s basically the theory of The Secret which has been tweaked into different psychology fads for years. Her quotes are helpful to pull my perspective into one of gratitude and grace by acting as if I have everything I need, so the universe doesn’t detect ANY LACK. The old saying:
If you're not grateful for what you have, why would the universe give you more?
After my Abraham binge, I moved over to Matt Kahn, who believes quite the opposite. He advocates accepting all feelings as valid and to be loved, so as to not glaze over them in some kind of fake positivity.
With so many opinions and paths to take, my goal now, is to maintain a balance of peace despite outside circumstances. Some days I fail miserably, like yesterday, as I cried all morning after a phone call from the IRS.
Today, I'm breathing life, hope and abundance into my family. I'm trying to appreciate memories for what they were, people for who they are, despite their struggles and actions; and the future for the possibilities.
Knowing that my perspective on life is going to make it as pleasant or as miserable as I decide to let it.
