“How are you doing?”
“Better than I deserve” as Dave Ramsey would say. Everytime I hear that on the radio, I go into stinkin-thinkin & say to myself” well of course he’s doing well…..he’s rich…..blablabla.
Immediately, I realize I’m breaking the tenth commandment. Mostly though, I think it’s just a lack of gratitude that I’m suffering from- in those moments. Ungrateful for my health, a house, a job, food, my other kids who are doing well, healthy grandkids.
Think about it, when things are (mostly) going our way, our step is lighter, our voice is chipper, & we radiate happiness.
Happiness, because our world is doing everything we want it to. For a moment.
My fav guru says this:
“It’s wonderful whenever you feel life is going well. Perhaps it is all a matter of perspective in how you define the term, “well”.
In the old paradigm, a feeling of wellness often indicated a sense of being within close range to the preferred outcomes and circumstances that define your existence. The downfall to this mentality, of course, was as soon as outcomes or circumstances changed — the one who was doing well didn’t feel so good anymore.
In the new paradigm, the term, “well” indicates a sense of balance with the harmony of life. Such balance and harmony is revealed by going with the current of change instead of opposing or denying it. No matter how ferociously the waves of change have flooded your circumstances, it is your willingness to surrender to the changes at hand as catalysts of spiritual growth and energetic expansion.
Doing well doesn’t necessarily mean life is going your way, or that you even enjoy or understand the process you’re in. It suggests you are doing well in going through life on the immaculate terms of Universal will – no matter how different it seems from the plans you’ve made. This is the heart of surrender.” – Matt Kahn
I know, it’s pretty deep. But it’s that damn word again: surrender..
Surrending your will seems to be the opposite of “going after everything you ever wanted” right? But I think the idea is to surrender your version of what you thought you wanted.
He talks about emotional oneness (his version of emotional wellness) in this video:
‘Destination addiction’ used to be a tongue in cheek cliche. But what Matt is saying (& every other motivational theme- such as THE SECRET) is the same. If you wait to be happy and fulfilled until you have everything you want, you will be waiting forever.
Samhsa defines the 8 dimensions of wellness in a handy chart that I wrote about Here.
At my age, I didn’t anticipate having the worry that I do, but worrying isn’t getting me anywhere. Addiction is getting a 2,3,4-for-one pass by affecting so many in my circle. This makes personal emotional wellness all the more important.
I must become stronger in my journey, so I’m not dependant on the ups and downs of other’s actions to make me feel better. Yes it’s very hard to do when you know one of your kids is “not ok”.😥
One more video hit home for me this week. My sweet daughter gave this to me on a super bad day, I think, knowing I needed to hear the parts about pain. It’s long but very soothing.