Guest blog by Cindy Gainer-Furst

PONDERING THOUGHTS

Have you ever looked at the parallels of our behavior vs. the addict?

In all honestly the addict isn’t proud that they are an addict, yet they are, they will do anything to use, to stop their pain.

We, in all honesty aren’t proud to be in the chaos of their addiction, yet we want to stop our pain and theirs.

The addict doesn’t take note of “how they might change” to help themselves.
We, also don’t take note on “how we might change” to help ourselves.

We are both struggling to resolve an issue that “ONLY WE CAN CHANGE FOR OURSELVES”.

We are begging and asking the addict to get a grip, get help, stop, change, etc.
Yet as we travel down this road, this is exactly what we should be doing for ourselves.

I’m not one to be the 1st to say leave by any means. However, I will always be the 1st to say, stop! Stop trying to swim up stream, stop and look at your situation and how you can help yourself to stay well.

Just like the addict we have to admit that we are powerless over their addiction.
So where does that leave you, where is that taking you? What can you do to not become emotionally wounded and feel less than, not worthy, helpless and all those ugly things?

This is your work, this is where you take back control of your life. You honestly have to take these measures, whether you stay, go or straddle the fence.

So let go of trying to control them, condem them, fix them or become so emotionally vulnerable to them. Truly acknowledge and accept that this is your journey and their journey!

Now take control of you….
Use your tools…

Boundaries
Stop enabling
Detachment
Create a life outside of them, Their addiction doesn’t have to be a life sentence to you.

If you take these measures of self love and work towards a positive life, the answers will emerge.

I mean why are we not allowing ourselves to take the same measures we want our addict to take?

Love yourself and get well and you know what, just maybe your new strength will be a turning point for both of you.

RESPECTFULLY WISHING ALL OF US HEALING AND CLARITY- Cindy Gainer-Furst