Looking in the Right Places

Is this house crooked or is it the street? Or the picture? Or your glasses ?

There’s nothing like a summer night at the baseball field to remember small town life and the simpler things.

The cool air, the beautiful mountains so close you could touch them. Sweaty, sticky little innocent faces whose whole lives are ahead of them. The crack of a bat, the anxious parents yelling to “Hurry! Get the ball!” As if there were any other goal of the game.

It’s all so surreal to me….

It’s been 11 years since I left the small town life and moved to the “Big City”. Luckily every summer I can go back to that life when watching my grandkids play baseball.

Many nights were spent at the ball park in my home town and the next one over where I raised my kids. So, of course I know many people there. Small town families are notoriously all have that LOOK that you can usually place them in their respective families. However, last night they all looked like strangers to me. People from a whole different world. I might as well have been back in the city, where everyone is anonymous.

So I asked my daughter, “how come I don’t recognize anyone?”
She said, “Well, are you looking in the right places? Because this is a whole other generation & your people are over there in the rocking chairs in the shade!”
She was right.

I was looking in the wrong places. How many times in my life had I done that very thing?

Sometimes it’s not at the ball field. Sometimes it’s on dating sites or on a social media post that we interpret to our own personal experience and jump to conclusions about what it must mean.

Wherever we are, we will find what we are looking for. 

If we are in the habit of feeding our fears or insecurities, we will most certainly find things that will.

Brene` Brown states:

Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don't belong. You will always find it because you've made that your mission. Stop scouring people's faces for evidence that you're not enough. You will always find it because you've made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don't negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.

There’s an old story of a couple who were moving and pulled up to a gas station in their new town. They asked the attendant if the town was friendly. The attendant said, “Was your old town friendly?” “No, not at all”. The woman said. The attendant shook his head: “Then this one won’t be either”.

Our preconceived notions can set us up for failure. When we are unable start a new experience with a blank slate; we will experience what we always have. People who have a “chip on their shoulder” are very obvious to others even if they don’t think they are. In fact, they often wonder why the world is so cruel, or why others are so unhelpful or even ‘rude.’

So, how can we find what we are looking for, yet have a blank slate free from expectations or judgements? How to be like a child who can play and acclimate in almost any situation? I believe it’s because they have one goal in mind- to have fun. They have an intention.

“Our intention creates our reality”- Wayne Dyer

If we are intent on finding something that helps us grow, we will. If we (usually subconsciously) are looking for something that offends us or irritates us, we will. All of us have had those days when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed and everything goes wrong. We keep waiting for our luck to change as if something will drop out of the sky and change our life. Until we realize we have the power to change the mood, the day, or at least stop the barrage of negative thoughts that seem to attack us.

In order to find what we are looking for, we not only have to look in the right places, we have to BE in the right place ourselves.

How to get there?

Habits for Well Being has a great list Here:

  • Writing in your journal.
  • Meditating.
  • Reading an inspiring quote or poem.
  • Go for a walk or run (if you are able to).
  • Spend some time stretching or doing yoga.
  • Focus on a power word for the day, week, month or year.

It isn’t easy, especially when we are so focused on our problems, or on that one thing that seems to be our kryptonite.

I’m going to try it today.

I’m going to limit my social media time so I’m not drawn into conflict or endless debates on things that drain my energy.

I’m going to spread light and love, especially since it’s my daughter’s 24 th birthday and the fact that I have her AND my amazing prodigal 35 year old son close by, is seriously a miracle.

I’m going to focus on seeing the good. I’m going to look for the helpers as if I’m riding the train into Mr Roger’s neighborhood.

May you find what you’re looking for on this happy & bright Saturday.

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A unique perspective on the world from a small town girl turned big city nurse. Now a grandmother to 6 gregarious, resplendent boys and 5 endearing, magical girls, she strives the make the world a more understanding, pleasant place to experience this intense thing called life.

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