If you have someone in your past who died a lonely death or just someone in your life who feels misunderstood or unloved; wouldn’t you give anything to put yourself in their place and take away their pain & loneliness? Those of you who are energetically sensitive can relate a little more but just like a mom with her child: you want to avoid & divert ANY & ALL pain and tragedy. For most Moms it’s because YOU can’t bear to feel it or see it in them because it makes us feel horrible.
Well, we find out, as we get older how necessary that pain is for their growth. Kids who have an easy life have a harder time in adulthood when the shizz hits the fan & their perfect life on the surface falls apart. But thats not my point here..
If you can’t take away the pain & suffering of someone who died or you can’t do it with your own child who’s in pain, what are the alternatives?
When we are hurting deeply, we can send all that love & acceptance that desire to our own childhood heart.
Likewise, if someone has wronged you and/ or succeeds in making you feel like shit as an adult and you to want to lash out, you can send more love to that angry heart.
You want to be strong & say no one can make me feel bad without my permission, but there’s no denying that you feel slighted & unloved & misunderstood. You could cause an argument that’s consists of the battle of the needs and who’s are top priority, but you know that’s a he said/ she said scenario.
So you shut down to prove a point.
There’s a difference between not reacting and shutting down. There are many studies on silence as a weapon in relationships. It’s actually the worst form of fighting. Its futile to “make someone see the error of their ways” by punishing them. It DOES Not work! Arguing, blaming, giving the cold shoulder, tit for tat. We even see it on social media. If you don’t “like” my posts I’m not gonna ‘like’ yours. Preschool behavior doesn’t end the cycle of pain & rejection.
I will withhold myself from you until you say sorry- then and only then- are you deserving of my voice and presence again.
Its not them… really.. Its YOU!
If you continually find yourself among people who “cause” you to speak your truth or to constantly defend yourself; It’s a sign that YOU are not in alignment with your true self.
When you are constantly irritated with others, It’s a sign that you are irritated with yourself. Or if you have to engage in every argument on social media, you must look within yourself to see what point in you needs to be proven. When people say love yourself & all that jazz- It’s telling you to bring you back to yourself in Love.
How to bring yourself back to Love?
Celebrate everything you do RIGHT which is actually EVERYTHING!
Because nothing is wrong that you do. Or you wouldn’t have needed to do it in that moment.
“If you’re not telling yourself what you’re doing right and/or telling others when they do right, then truth is NOT being spoken. Because If you are not telling YOURSELF this- then you will continually be mad at OTHERS for not telling you when you do right. Weird huh?
Everyone Likes praise, & to be acknowledged & heard but Social Media is filled with people who HAVE to be heard & MUST state their opinion and can’t take anyone who disagrees.
All we can do is get to a place where we don’t NEED validation from others because we’ve given enough to ourselves. We’ve filled the scars of childhood (or adulthood) where our love was rejected, & our openness was punished. Our bright shining excited eyes were shot down by someone with their own unhealed pain. There’s been so many times in my life that I’ve taken on others pain, and it’s drug me down to the depths of MY pain. Not only did this make me miserable and hating life; it made me lash out to those around me.
In order to stop this cycle of giving rejection or bitterness to people who give it to us; we HAVE to find a way to fill our own buckets & come back to kindness- to ourselves first.
We are all using life to remember how magnificent we are!
We are all emotional millionaires who forgot their pin#. But the child in us knows the pin!
So how nice are you gonna be to yourself and to that innocent child to get your pin#?
THE PIN FOR ALLIGNMENT.
No one can do it for you.
No one is invested in YOU as much as, YOU-no matter what lies they spin.
On this Halloween Eve, here’s some great advice:
Happy Halloween! (seems like an oxymoron)