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HOPE- less- FULL

The situation my husband and I were faced with yesterday, had the makings of an expensive and long drug out rescue.

We were in the middle of nowhere, stuck between a dried-out wash and miles of the flat white desert. As we were driving up a trail, The side of the trail gave way dropping the tires into a 2 or 3-foot hole. (Seemed like 10 feet, to me)

The situation seemed hopeless like many others I’ve faced the last few years. Maybe hopeless is too strong of a word. Let’s say: immediately unsolvable & perplexing.

The intense feelings that arise in me- rather suddenly- while sliding down a ravine into a hole, or having a family member verbally assault me- seem to make my whole world collapse.

If you watched Sensitive, The Untold Story, on Netflix, you will understand.

As a child, feeling misunderstood, and as an adult, feeling misperceived- keeps me in constant friction in relationships.

It shuts me down.

Just this week I was told that I was “doing it wrong”…… again. Not doing enough…again. In a situation that is perpetually doomed to all involved simply because there is no linear “how to” do it right instruction book.

Luckily in our situation yesterday, my husband was able to hook the winch up to a sagebrush -a sagebrush! The bush with the shallowest roots ever! -and pull itself out.

Miracle in the sage brush

It happens over and over again to me: My stinkin- thinkin proved wrong.

In these times, I have to force myself to take a step back and question my ingrained beliefs of doom and gloom. Just like this article states from very well mind.com:

…… just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true. Your thoughts may be distorted, inaccurate, or downright wrong.

I can certainly blame it on being a highly sensitive person where my feelings and emotions lead the way. Some people might change that label and say I’m a pessimist. ( I actually fit more with a realist especially when im analysing other’s thoughts and feelings).

But regardless, if I want to save myself misery- in- the- moment, a poor quality of thought & life, I must learn to explore the validity and accuracy of my thoughts.

Katie Byron’s book, “Loving What Is” explores this very thing.

As one of her reviews state:

"Suppose you could find a simple way to embrace your life with joy, stop arguing with reality, and achieve serenity in the midst of chaos. That's what Loving What Is offers. It is no less than a revolutionary way to live your life. The question is: Are we brave enough to accept it?"-Erica Jong

Just to show this theory in action, these are the beautiful things I discovered after my chaotic HOUR– mind you.HOUR not day, week, or month. All these things are surviving & showing their beauty, even among a seemingly dry barren environment.

And probably not even a bad day either- if you can find the beauty.

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