It’s s always been a big deal to me.
That feeling of always “doing it wrong”, saying the wrong thing or not fitting in, or even having the wrong last name. (That’s another story) seemed to plague me. This could be referred to as having a inferiority complex, among other labels. Or it could just be normal human insecurities which come out in times of vulnerability.
So if I am such an expert at this feeling of “lack” and being accepted, why then am I unable to completely accept others’ frailties and unfavorable character traits?
I try. And I’m convinced that my intense struggles the last few years were to not-so-gently force me into loving unconditionally. Myself, my kids & other relationships.
First I became face to face with the reality of my son’s addiction. That’s enough to shake up any sense of insecurity. Soon after, I met my husband to be, who further taught me acceptance.
As my family slowly disintegrated from the far-reaching effects of the addiction; I was forced to accept others’ pain in whatever way it manifested. I am learning that in the midst of (& in spite of) my deep pain & despair, others have their way of coping and being. Some choose to forget it, keep busy, and/ or stay positive. Some remain vindictive & offended (from MY perspective no. The truth is, we don’t truly know what motivations someone has or their thoughts about the effects of a trauma unless they are telling us directly. Assuming things by their actions is just projecting.
In truth, I’ve always admired authenticity and despised ‘fakeness’. My husband says I can spot a disingenuous person a mile away, but I have come to believe that the masks people wear (the real masks- under the masks) are to protect themselves from rejection of their true selves.
"I love the authenticity in this moment.
Gender doesn't matter here. It just happens to be be a man and a woman in this scene.
Two people had the courage to stand in ALL that they are, and all that they are not, in this moment. One sportin the balls to reveal, the other sportin the balls to receive.
Both require bravery.
Both require vulnerability.
Relationships can be messy. Life is about ALL of it, as it comes, and how we tango thru the mazes that can lead us to our Center, and how the rawness of allowing, feels arising from that Center, that connects us"-Ari Roberts.
If we can put Politics aside, Hollywood aside, if we can look at the the message here…..of accepting someone…in all their messiness…. Whether a love partner, a child, a challenging parent, a or a needy friend; & drop the notion of molding them into the exact replica of the child or lover or supportful friend that we desire- just meeting them where they’re at…..❣️ it will open us up to receive & embrace whatever that moment is for or even what that person is here to teach us.
That’s what makes life beautiful- even under intense pain & suffering- to crack open new truths revealing the beauty that lies beneath.