The Mother Love
Love is not found in the Hallmark aisle.
Love is not found in boxed chocolates tied up with a silk bow.
Love is not found in a Facebook post with lovey-dovey pictures.
Love IS found in the quick breathe of a Mom who looks at her phone and sees the number of her child calling.
Love IS found with the expelled breathe of relief when the door to the treatment center or bus door closes with her child behind it.
Love IS found in the fallen tears on the pillow, alone, in the dark.
Love is seen when a mom looks into her hurting childs eyes as he lashes out at anyone who dares get between him and his master.
This life, this journey. We didn’t request to be in the club. But when we first laid eyes on the child, along with all the hopes and dreams to come; we unknowingly accepted the disappointments and pain that would surely come also.
The first time our child came home crying because someone was mean to them, we felt the fierceness rise inside us.
We knew instantly we would fight for our child’s heart. We knew we would do anything to soothe their pain.
Now they seem so far away.
We can’t save them.
We can’t bridge that gap to cauterize their bleeding heart. If we could, we would.
God knows we try.
We try bandaid after bandaid.
It doesn’t work.
The hemorrhage continues.
It filters through loved one’s lives and relationships like hot lava flowing from a huge volcano.
We wonder when it will stop. How deep is that hole?
No one truly knows.
So we forge through the pain.
Thinking we can’t go on.
But we will.
Because of that momma bond. Unbroken. Unseared.
We will go on.
And even if we can’t fix this boo boo.
We can still love.
We love DESPITE the pain.
We love THROUGH the pain.
We love because we are Mother’s.
We carry love from the pre-mortal existence before earth and we carry it through the galaxies into the afterlife.
Not time, nor space can douse a Mother’s Love.
Throughout centuries and worlds of hardships- nothing has stopped a Mother’s Love.
Beware, of the Mother’s Love.
It can crush unimaginable barricades.
Move mountains to plains.
Change hearts to Gold.
Make a meal out of nothing.
Sew a complete fictional character out of strips of cloth.
This war might think it has been won. The victory flag being raised by the devil himself.
But he doesn’t and never will…..
Know the strength of a Mother’s Love.
Sadly, in nature, this is often the case. This built in drive to protect the future generation – our kids. It is often my fear that I will not be here to help once I pass away. And my kids need help. Do I want them to need me? No. I would rather they not need me; I would rather that I am superfluous, even though it hurts also to think I am irrelevant in their lives. Did I raise them to not need me? Somewhat. I did the best I knew how and that instinct to protect is so overwhelmingly strong in some mothers – perhaps more so in mothers that did not get mothered themselves. In that way, I think you can be sure that you did a great job, no matter the situation now. Life is complex and we cannot always turn unpredictabilities into predictabilities. The Universe sorts things out, it just takes a long time. In the meantime, we worry. That is our lot. Trust your gut feelings as to the outcomes. Is worrying helping you? Or is it taking away your energy so that when you are called in to help, you cannot give as much help, as you are emotionally fatigued from intense worry? This is the thought that has helped me recently. I must save my energy for when it is more needed. Hugs to you across the internet.
That’s beautifully spoken. Like a true mother. I think, if anything, this journey through addiction had taught me that no matter what…..no matter what I did, or DO, they are going to do what their path tells them to…until they don’t….so yes Superfluous- you taught me a new word! That’s why I ademently don’t believe in the baby the addict, bury the addict..because we don’t need any more guilt…..
“the baby the addict, bury the addict’? I am not sure I understand what is meant by that.
On addiction sites they say “baby the addict you bury the addict ” as a push for not enabling… I think it’s a kick in the teeth to any parent who’s lost a child to addiction😭
It is a generalization that only adds to the guilt that parents may feel. It doesn’t help awareness of enabling. Going too hard or not showing empathy might have the same results.